Hola!
Well, I have just about the best news ever and it must be shared with the world:
Today I had a doctor's appointment to review X-rays of my femur and to figure out what the next course of action would be. After a forty-five minute wait, my hip doctor/surgeon (Dr. Sims) decided to show up and we viewed my X-rays. To say the least, they looked good. Really good. I think they even surprised Dr. Sims. Between having radiation and chemotherapy, what was once a dark and cancerous looking femur is now an area that is glowing a healthy white. Calcium and healthy bone cells are returning to my femural head and neck. Dr. Sims says my femur can tolerate weight and there is no risk that it will randomly fracture.
My posture, however, is a little poor since I had started limping to compensate for previous pain. So tomorrow I start meeting with a physical therapist in order to regain flexibility and normal movement. I'm glad Dr. Sims set me up with someone to work with on that. I was worried they were just going to say, "Congratulations. Now go off and do some stretching or something and you'll be back to normal eventually." But now I'll have someone to show me what stretches and exercises will benefit me most and I can work on not just regaining strength in my one leg, but my overall endurance. I'll be able to keep up with everybody again!! Clogging is in my future!!! =D (Clogging is that hillbilly tap dance stuff I told you about before.)
So this has pretty much been one of the best days of my life as of late. I got up this morning, lounged around, then Mom and I went shopping before my appointment. We made a trip to Michael's (craft store) so I could get some new paint. I have old, cheap bottles of acrylic sitting here at home and I definitely needed a new tube of white. Next we went to Panera for lunch. All I can say is: Fufu berry. That's right. Fufu berry. Go forth to the nearest Panera and try a Fufu berry Jones soda. It is amazing. So then I had my appointment and started crying for joy. Afterwards we rushed over to RCTC for the remaining bit of band practice. It wasn't all that exciting. We played "Hands Across the Sea" (evil Sousa) again, "Billboard March" (why must we play marches...!?), and the "Pirates" medley. I realized I need to work on a section of "Pirates"; there is some crazy triplet/tercet action going on in that song that needs to be practiced up to full speed. And finally I got to enjoy the beautiful day. I took all my paints and supplies outside and painted in the sun. Later Mom and I took the puppies on a walk, ate dinner, and went to a free concert at RCTC.
The concert was really fun. It was a group called Arvel Bird and One Nation. They performed contemporary Native American pieces, which was quite interesting. Arvel was an amazing fiddle player who had studied classical violin for eleven years and then went around exploring all different types of music, so no matter what he played it sounded superb. The group's guitarist was something else too. Definitely a very talented musician. Here's their website: http://www.arvelbirdandonenation.com/ Check it out and listen to "Mother Earth". The lyrics aren't all that creative, but the instrumental aspects of the song are worth listening to.
And I guess that is about it in news. I think I'll finish up this post so I can go eat my delectable slice of Oreo DQ blizzard cake. =D
Much love,
Cheryl
Monday, April 16, 2007
Sunday, April 15, 2007
"But come ye back when summer's in the meadow..."
Hey.
I guess it's about time to update my blog.
Life continues to plod along. I can't say anything of extreme interest has happened to me since my last post, except for a reunion with all the 2006 Drama Monkeys and the happenings of Easter.
I'm still going to RCTC for band, which is the main activity of my day. The songs we have are alright. The only one I'm fond of is the "Pirates of the Caribbean" medley, but we still don't have it up to speed- which makes it a bit dull.
Other than that I don't do much during the day. I usually read, but that has become a problem since I've officially read every Diana Wynne Jone book at Barnes & Noble, except for one (which I'll probably go purchase within the week). That doesn't mean much, however, since the book selection at Barnes & Noble is atrocious and they only have about a fifth of the books Diana Wynne Jones has ever written. They also don't believe in carrying complete series and they often have a third of a trilogy in one part of the store and the other two thirds in a different part, which makes you believe that they don't carry the first book at all and would have to order it. I don't care for ordering books, or ordering anything in general. It always takes too long and then when you get whatever you've ordered there's something wrong with it. Anyway, I guess I'll go look for a new author to read.
Chemo is driving me insane. I despise being attached to the pump and being back on Oxaliplatin. My left had is now it a continual state of tingly-ness. I worry about it and wonder if this is permanent nerve damage, but Dr. Pitot doesn't seem to think much of it. However, they didn't think much of anything when this all started so I'm not much comforted by his lack of concern.
This brings about another point: Doctors do not follow straight paths of logic. You may defend the argument that this is a good thing: it is what allows them to come up with clever new treatments and such. This may be true, but I believe their deranged psychological processes are primarily used as an excuse for their intellectual shortcomings when they are addressing patients; in other words, they don't have the answers and will therefore come up with some complex (yet bullshit) reasoning for why they feel something should or should not be done in regards to the patient's health.
I recently experienced this and, for some reason, this instance is particularly bothering me. I think it was because for once I was going to my doctor's appointment with a plan. I knew what I wanted to have done: I wasn't going to be the stupid patient sitting on the bench hoping that someone else would make decisions for me.
I told Dr. Pitot I was considering hip surgery again. I told him I wanted to stop taking Avastin (the drug which causes bleeding and prevents "safe" surgery), continue taking Oxaliplatin (since that's the most important drug anyways), and possibly consider taking the alternative to Avastin, even if it would cause severe acne. I figured the gain in mobility after surgery would be worth a couple months of bad zits. I had thought of everything that would be worth considering before having surgery; I had even written it all down.
And I had it flung back in my face. "No, we don't want to do surgery on you."
Then, I start getting the crazy logic: "We won't do surgery on you, but maybe we should take you off the Avastin in case your femur does fracture. Oh, sure, you can be more active, unless there is pain." "How do I know if the pain is from the cancer or unused muscles?" "We don't know. So do you want to go on the alternative to Avastin?" "No! I don't want zits if I'm not getting anything out of it!" "But your femur could fracture and then we'll have a messy surgery with the Avastin in your system." "So why don't we do surgery now while I'm off the Avastin and can prevent a fracture from happening?" "Because we don't want to do surgery on you unless your femur does fracture." "What are the chances of my femur fracturing?" "We don't know. We've had some patients roll over in their sleep and had their femur fractures." "Great..."
Does this not make sense to anyone else!? They don't want to prevent a fracture yet they want to take steps to make surgery easier. This implies to me that they expect an eventual fracture. I'm still trying to fathom why they would want me to go through fracturing a femur. Ugh.
Oh, I guess I haven't really said why I've had the sudden interest in having surgery again. Of course, mobility is the reason, but the stronger desire for it is fueled by the fact that I'm going on vacation in Hawaii this June. Australia ended-up being a little far away and by going to Hawaii I can bring the rest of my immediate family with me, which is good since I think they could use a tropical vacation as well. I'm really excited for the trip. Actually, I'm really excited for summer to get here in general. It'll be nice having all my friends home; we already have plans to build a boat out of milk cartons to race in the Minneapolis Aquatennial. =D
I'm sorry this post had a lot of grumbling in it. I have a tendency to whine and make things sound worse than they probably are.
At least the weather is agreeable. I can't complain about that. The snow has finally melted...again. =P
~Cheryl
I guess it's about time to update my blog.
Life continues to plod along. I can't say anything of extreme interest has happened to me since my last post, except for a reunion with all the 2006 Drama Monkeys and the happenings of Easter.
I'm still going to RCTC for band, which is the main activity of my day. The songs we have are alright. The only one I'm fond of is the "Pirates of the Caribbean" medley, but we still don't have it up to speed- which makes it a bit dull.
Other than that I don't do much during the day. I usually read, but that has become a problem since I've officially read every Diana Wynne Jone book at Barnes & Noble, except for one (which I'll probably go purchase within the week). That doesn't mean much, however, since the book selection at Barnes & Noble is atrocious and they only have about a fifth of the books Diana Wynne Jones has ever written. They also don't believe in carrying complete series and they often have a third of a trilogy in one part of the store and the other two thirds in a different part, which makes you believe that they don't carry the first book at all and would have to order it. I don't care for ordering books, or ordering anything in general. It always takes too long and then when you get whatever you've ordered there's something wrong with it. Anyway, I guess I'll go look for a new author to read.
Chemo is driving me insane. I despise being attached to the pump and being back on Oxaliplatin. My left had is now it a continual state of tingly-ness. I worry about it and wonder if this is permanent nerve damage, but Dr. Pitot doesn't seem to think much of it. However, they didn't think much of anything when this all started so I'm not much comforted by his lack of concern.
This brings about another point: Doctors do not follow straight paths of logic. You may defend the argument that this is a good thing: it is what allows them to come up with clever new treatments and such. This may be true, but I believe their deranged psychological processes are primarily used as an excuse for their intellectual shortcomings when they are addressing patients; in other words, they don't have the answers and will therefore come up with some complex (yet bullshit) reasoning for why they feel something should or should not be done in regards to the patient's health.
I recently experienced this and, for some reason, this instance is particularly bothering me. I think it was because for once I was going to my doctor's appointment with a plan. I knew what I wanted to have done: I wasn't going to be the stupid patient sitting on the bench hoping that someone else would make decisions for me.
I told Dr. Pitot I was considering hip surgery again. I told him I wanted to stop taking Avastin (the drug which causes bleeding and prevents "safe" surgery), continue taking Oxaliplatin (since that's the most important drug anyways), and possibly consider taking the alternative to Avastin, even if it would cause severe acne. I figured the gain in mobility after surgery would be worth a couple months of bad zits. I had thought of everything that would be worth considering before having surgery; I had even written it all down.
And I had it flung back in my face. "No, we don't want to do surgery on you."
Then, I start getting the crazy logic: "We won't do surgery on you, but maybe we should take you off the Avastin in case your femur does fracture. Oh, sure, you can be more active, unless there is pain." "How do I know if the pain is from the cancer or unused muscles?" "We don't know. So do you want to go on the alternative to Avastin?" "No! I don't want zits if I'm not getting anything out of it!" "But your femur could fracture and then we'll have a messy surgery with the Avastin in your system." "So why don't we do surgery now while I'm off the Avastin and can prevent a fracture from happening?" "Because we don't want to do surgery on you unless your femur does fracture." "What are the chances of my femur fracturing?" "We don't know. We've had some patients roll over in their sleep and had their femur fractures." "Great..."
Does this not make sense to anyone else!? They don't want to prevent a fracture yet they want to take steps to make surgery easier. This implies to me that they expect an eventual fracture. I'm still trying to fathom why they would want me to go through fracturing a femur. Ugh.
Oh, I guess I haven't really said why I've had the sudden interest in having surgery again. Of course, mobility is the reason, but the stronger desire for it is fueled by the fact that I'm going on vacation in Hawaii this June. Australia ended-up being a little far away and by going to Hawaii I can bring the rest of my immediate family with me, which is good since I think they could use a tropical vacation as well. I'm really excited for the trip. Actually, I'm really excited for summer to get here in general. It'll be nice having all my friends home; we already have plans to build a boat out of milk cartons to race in the Minneapolis Aquatennial. =D
I'm sorry this post had a lot of grumbling in it. I have a tendency to whine and make things sound worse than they probably are.
At least the weather is agreeable. I can't complain about that. The snow has finally melted...again. =P
~Cheryl
Monday, April 02, 2007
"On my way home I remember only good days..."
Salutations!
It has been quite the busy week and now I'm finally home and getting a chance to relax. Not that I didn't enjoy the excitement, it's just that I can only tolerate so much time on the road before I go insane.
Last Wednesday I left for Cragun's Resort in Brainerd with the RCTC band/choir for the Community College Fine Arts Festival. To say the least, it was a lot of fun. The first night we were there we had the entire resort to ourselves, so I got a chance to go swimming in a humongous pool with only few people in it. Much happiness abounded. Then Thursday morning there was a showcase that featured performances by the various college choirs. After that rehearsals for the mass choir began. I was disappointed that members of the mass band didn't have any activities to partake in until 7 p.m. while the mass choir was practicing all day. So I decided to join the choir in their rehearsals until my evening band practice. The mass choir was amazing; there were at least 200 people in it and it was being directed by the choir conductor of the U of M. They had really fun songs to sing too, like "It's a Grand Night for Singing" and a ballad called "Innisfree". The mass band was fun too, though I don't know if "mass" is the right word to describe it. There were only about 40 members in it, but they were all talented musicians. We had three songs that we were going to play for the concert: two movements of a baroque piece, "Shenandoah", and "Hands Across the Sea". I hate "Hands Across the Sea". Actually, I hate most of what John Philip Sousa wrote, but that may because most of what he wrote are marches and marches don't do much for me. Anyways, Thursday we had rehearsals and in the evening the RCTC Aires (show choir) and jazz band did a performance by the poolside. Everybody loved it; people were cheering for Aires and dancing during the entire performance by the jazz band. Members of the jazz band even said it was one of their best gigs. On Friday we had dress rehearsals and the concert. After that we packed up and headed for home and Fudruckers. If you haven't been to Fudruckers, you should make it a goal to get there at some point. It's a burger joint, though they have other sandwiches/salads too (thank goodness- chemo has made me despise eating plain hamburgers). But the best part has got to be their milk shakes. I had just a plain vanilla milk shake and it was the best I had ever had. Nothing short of "amazing" could be used to describe it. =D
So I was home Friday night but left again Saturday afternoon to see Jase's play at her college in St. Joseph. It was really good. The cast performed well and the stage looked awesome. Mom and I spent the night in St. Cloud and came home Sunday. We stopped at my grandparents' house for brunch and then I finally made it home. Ben came over later in the evening and we all watched "Casino Royale"- the new James Bond flick. It was okay. I'm not really into James Bond movies: Any time I watch them, all I can think of is how it should be quite impossible that James Bond has not caught an STD by now.
Now it's Monday. And on a rating of 1 to 10 I think this Monday rates about a 6, which is pretty good for a Monday. I got to sleep in, which was wonderful and much needed. Then Mom and I went to the mall and I got a pair of shorts (also desperately needed), a shirt, and an adorable pair of slip-on sneakers. After that I went to the high school to help accompany people with their solo/ensemble contest pieces. I like helping people with music; I think I know just enough to be useful and give tips on things judges will be looking for. Tomorrow is the actual contest and I'll be going to watch and play piano for the two groups I'm accompanying.
I guess that's about it in news. I know this post is getting rather long. To finish it off I'll show you a super-cute photo I took of Claire and Zoe today. =D
It has been quite the busy week and now I'm finally home and getting a chance to relax. Not that I didn't enjoy the excitement, it's just that I can only tolerate so much time on the road before I go insane.
Last Wednesday I left for Cragun's Resort in Brainerd with the RCTC band/choir for the Community College Fine Arts Festival. To say the least, it was a lot of fun. The first night we were there we had the entire resort to ourselves, so I got a chance to go swimming in a humongous pool with only few people in it. Much happiness abounded. Then Thursday morning there was a showcase that featured performances by the various college choirs. After that rehearsals for the mass choir began. I was disappointed that members of the mass band didn't have any activities to partake in until 7 p.m. while the mass choir was practicing all day. So I decided to join the choir in their rehearsals until my evening band practice. The mass choir was amazing; there were at least 200 people in it and it was being directed by the choir conductor of the U of M. They had really fun songs to sing too, like "It's a Grand Night for Singing" and a ballad called "Innisfree". The mass band was fun too, though I don't know if "mass" is the right word to describe it. There were only about 40 members in it, but they were all talented musicians. We had three songs that we were going to play for the concert: two movements of a baroque piece, "Shenandoah", and "Hands Across the Sea". I hate "Hands Across the Sea". Actually, I hate most of what John Philip Sousa wrote, but that may because most of what he wrote are marches and marches don't do much for me. Anyways, Thursday we had rehearsals and in the evening the RCTC Aires (show choir) and jazz band did a performance by the poolside. Everybody loved it; people were cheering for Aires and dancing during the entire performance by the jazz band. Members of the jazz band even said it was one of their best gigs. On Friday we had dress rehearsals and the concert. After that we packed up and headed for home and Fudruckers. If you haven't been to Fudruckers, you should make it a goal to get there at some point. It's a burger joint, though they have other sandwiches/salads too (thank goodness- chemo has made me despise eating plain hamburgers). But the best part has got to be their milk shakes. I had just a plain vanilla milk shake and it was the best I had ever had. Nothing short of "amazing" could be used to describe it. =D
So I was home Friday night but left again Saturday afternoon to see Jase's play at her college in St. Joseph. It was really good. The cast performed well and the stage looked awesome. Mom and I spent the night in St. Cloud and came home Sunday. We stopped at my grandparents' house for brunch and then I finally made it home. Ben came over later in the evening and we all watched "Casino Royale"- the new James Bond flick. It was okay. I'm not really into James Bond movies: Any time I watch them, all I can think of is how it should be quite impossible that James Bond has not caught an STD by now.
Now it's Monday. And on a rating of 1 to 10 I think this Monday rates about a 6, which is pretty good for a Monday. I got to sleep in, which was wonderful and much needed. Then Mom and I went to the mall and I got a pair of shorts (also desperately needed), a shirt, and an adorable pair of slip-on sneakers. After that I went to the high school to help accompany people with their solo/ensemble contest pieces. I like helping people with music; I think I know just enough to be useful and give tips on things judges will be looking for. Tomorrow is the actual contest and I'll be going to watch and play piano for the two groups I'm accompanying.
I guess that's about it in news. I know this post is getting rather long. To finish it off I'll show you a super-cute photo I took of Claire and Zoe today. =D
The Claire-Bear and Zoeger-Ogre. Awww....
Much love,
Cheryl
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