Time for another update.
I got back from Hawaii on the 17th of June. Right away, I had another chemo treatment. It was my first time having CPT-11 in my regimen. I guess the treatment went well. It was nice not having Oxaliplatin, so I wasn't cold sensitive. The side effects of the CPT-11 were tolerable; it made me nauseous, but in a different way than the Oxaliplatin, and it made me have hot flashes and night sweats, which wasn't all that pleasant. It took me longer to recover from this treatment than other treatments I had. We figured it was because I had such a long break from chemo that my body had to re-adapt to chemical bombardment.
My Australian friend, Veronika, came back from Hawaii with us, so I have been hanging out a lot with her. Some days we would just hung out at my house and others we were running around. We made a trip to Ikea last Friday so I could look at new bed frames and see if they carried pots suitable for orchids, which they didn't.
On the 4th of July, my family traveled with Veronika to Stewartville. We spent the day with my mom's side of the family. It was unbearably hot during the day, but luckily it cooled off in the evening so we could enjoy the parade and fireworks. Stewartville had an impressive firework display this year and Veronika got several interesting photos of different fireworks.
Veronika started flying home today, so last night I had friends over to say goodbye to her. We chilled in my basement (since it was storming outside) and watched The Blues Brothers. Hopefully I'll make it to Australia someday to visit her since it was so much fun having her around to hang out with.
Today I had appointments again, a blood draw and a visit with Dr. Pitot. I'd like to say everything came out all pleasantly, but it didn't really. I have to get an MRI to see if the pain that's been in my left arm is being caused by the spread of cancer into a nerve near my spine or is something as simple as a pinched nerve. My MRI is tomorrow and I think Pitot said he'd leave me a note when I came in again on Friday for another round of chemo.
I don't know why, but today I asked Pitot again what my lifespan is looking like. I knew it was going to ruin my day, but I did it anyways. I told him I wanted to see my boyfriend graduate in the spring from high school and Pitot said he wished the graduation was in the fall. It all reminded me how fast time is passing by and how my cancer is just tearing through it like it's nothing. I'm going to die soon, and I'm sad and scared.
I don't want to write anything more now. I don't have anything more to report anyways.
~Cheryl
If this stupid site would let me post a title, it would be:
"Farewell for a while, I'm going away..."
"10000 Miles"- Mary Chapin Carpenter
6 comments:
I check your website, almost daily, always hoping to get an update. It seems like things have been getting so much better for you, and it made me so sad to hear that they aren't. I guess it was just me, being naive.
I realize that there is nothing in the world that I can say to you to make you feel better. Nor can I even pretend to know how you feel, or what you go thru on a daily basis. All I can tell you, is that I think of you, and hope and pray for you often, and I've never even met you. Please know that there are thousands out there just like me, wishing you well.
- Eyota Alum
You have every right to be sad and scared - plus angry because this is so unfair! Please know that there are a lot of people who share those same feelings. I hope you continue to enjoy every bit of this summer, and remember you'll never really be alone.
i love you.
that's all.
-kate
Cheryl,
I am so sorry that you are having to take this difficult journey. You are such a brave young woman to ask the difficult questions regarding your illness. Please keep in mind that Dr. Pitot is just telling you the "likelihood" of your prognosis. Only God can know the truth. When my mom was diagnosed with cancer they told me she have about 8 months - the amount of time until my wedding. And if she did make it until my wedding, she would be too weak to travel from Louisiana to Minnesota for the wedding. In fact, she traveled here to my wedding & we now have wonderful pictures of she & my dad dancing (& kissing) at my reception. Don't lose your ambition to be there for your boyfriend's graduation, only God knows how much time you have left here on earth. And when it is time for you to return home to heaven, our heavenly Father (father is the key word here) will be there to be sure you have unending peace, joy & bliss - because he loves you more than any of us on earth possibly can (even more than your parents). You are always on my mind & in my prayers.
Much love,
Sandy Bryant
Your family is not deserving of this. I know that is not P.C. but that is how I feel. I am praying for you and I keep thinking of the passage "Be still and know that I am God". That is where our faith comes in, we have to trust. Too many kids take life for granted every day as do adults. You are living a very full life daily. God bless you and keep you and your family in his arms through this trying time. Your closeness as a family is such a gift in itself.
You are loved and we are very blessed to have you as a part of our lives. The hand you have been dealt is not fair but you have faced it with grace and dignity. I wish I could somehow ease the emotional pain you are feeling. You know where to find me if you need a place to hang out or talk or cry! Ben's Mama
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