“Someone I am is waiting for my courage; the one I want, the one I will become, will catch me. So let me fall…”

Greetings.

Yesterday I went in for my fourth round of chemo and to hear the results of the blood and CT-scans, along with what the geneticists discovered. I didn’t get any printed results, so I can’t provide any numbers, but here’s the gist of what we were told:

1. Hemoglobin is still rising; it’s up to about 11-something. In addition, the size of my red blood cells is also increasing, so the shots and the daily multi-vitamins I’m taking must be working. Dr. Pitot also said I didn’t have to take the icky iron supplements, unless I had a day where I thought I could tolerate them. I’ve decided that day is never, so they’ll just have to come and shove them down my throat if they really want me to take them.

2. The two enzymes I mentioned in a previous post that act as tumor markers are still decreasing, so yay for that.

3. We got to see the CT-scans and the outsides of the tumors in my liver are darkening, which I guess is a sign that they are reacting to the chemotherapy and that the tumor cells on the inside of my liver will soon begin to die. The main tumor in my intestine is starting to shrink as well.

4. The test results to see if there were mutations in my genes that would cause FAP (condition where there are thousands of polyps in your intestine) and MYH (multiple polyps, but not so many as FAP, in your intestine) both came back negative. This means I won’t pass either mutation on to any children I have in the future. I thought that was good news.

So now the question is, “What comes next?” Well, we don’t know. We have to consult with my original oncologist (Dr. Erlichman) and with my surgeon (Dr. Cima) about whether I’ll be having surgery next or if I’ll have another set of chemo like I just had. The problem with surgery is that we don’t know if it will be a laparoscopic surgery or one where they’ll have to cut me open. Either way, there is a strong chance that I’ll end-up having to have a colostomy bag. I was in a rather sour/cry-ish mood when I was told that and was presented with a lecture by Dr. Pitot that there are tons of people who live normal lives with a colostomy bags and no one even knows. I don’t think he understood that I was upset because having a colostomy bag is not a normal choice for a lifestyle change in a teenage girl. I know it’s not the end of the world to have one, I would just prefer not to have one. I was also scared to death at the thought of having to go through a big surgery. Surgery is scary and I was hoping that the tumor in my intestine would melt away so that the only procedure I would have to have would be removing the stent. Doesn’t seem like it’s going to be that way. The other problem is that if I continue chemotherapy, I’ll probably have to have my chemicals changed around a bit. I can’t continue taking the Oxaliplatin because it will cause permanent nerve damage, so I don’t know if they’ll just have me stop taking that drug or if they’ll switch me over to something else. Another reason I was in a poor mood during my visit with Dr. Pitot included learning that I was still losing weight when I was positive that I had gained weight. Also, I guess I won’t be just bounding off to college second semester. They say it will be too stressful, physically and mentally, so I’ll probably only be able to be a part-time student at most. Not quite the news I wanted to hear. I guess I had it in my head that this all was really just a short detour in my life, that by the start of the new year I could leave all this cancer business behind. It was quite a slap in the face to be told that’s not how it’s going to be. Oh well.

In other news…

My birthday went well. I got a new mp3 player, clothes, a CD, and a date for dinner and movie of my choice. Very good gifts, I must say, and a pretty fun day.

Yesterday, like I said, I had chemo, so now I’m hooked-up to the pump until Saturday. I’m not sure what my plans are for today. I think Mom and I might go visit Petit Music to see their new showroom and see if my piano book is in. I don’t think I’ll be going to the football game in Goodhue; it just looks too icky outside and if it’s too cold I’ll have a problem ‘cause of the chemo-sensitivity. Might be a good night to curl-up and read.

Saturday I plan on going to help with play practice. Actually, I might do that today too. Veronika is arriving in Minnesota late tonight, so I’ll get to see her tomorrow at practice. I’m so excited! I haven’t seen her in over a year and she is my best-est Australian friend. =D

Oh, I must give a thank-you to whoever left me the basket of bread, cider, and mulling spices. You didn’t leave a note in the basket putting your claim to it, but I love it all the same, so thank-you. =D

I guess that’s about it.

Much love,
Cheryl