"The seeds will grow, the flowers bloom..."

Ha! Victory is mine! The blog actually let me post a picture! Well, this is my crazy plant lady. It's not the whole drawing and not of the best quality because I don't have a scanner and had to just take a picture of it and load the picture onto my computer. You can kind of see the flowers she's pollinating. It looks better when you can see all five flowers and the ground below her; it makes it look like she's just drifting around more. But I'm happy with how she turned out, especially her face since I have problems with drawing faces.

"I know you still like old-fashioned waltzes..."

Hmm, guess it's about time to update again.

What have I been up to, lemme see...

Well, band and choir have resumed at RCTC, though as of yet I have only had two real choir classes during which we sang and one real band practice where we've played something. It's a little disappointing, but things should pick up since I think we have a concert coming up in February. Part of the not playing is due to informing new choir/band members about the Florida trip that the music department is going to take during Spring Break. I'm excited about that. We're not performing or anything while we're down there, it's just a trip for fun. I am a little apprehensive, though, since I don't know anyone who is going (all the people I've met in choir/band aren't able to come) and I don't know how much alcohol will be present. I really hope there is a group who is alcohol-free or at least is responsible about drinking and won't criticize me for not drinking. Anyways, I think it should be fun, given I make some friends (which I have been guaranteed I would, so it shouldn't be a problem) and the weather is good. As a group we see lots of dinner shows, go to amusement parks and the beach. I'm excited to go to the beach. It'd better not be raining that day.

Throughout January I've been attending wrestling meets, which are lots of fun- as long as they don't take over three hours. Last night I went to my first boy's basketball game. Sadly, they lost, but Greg played. Yay for Greg!

What else...

Oh, during Christmas break and into mid-January (so about a week ago) I've been helping edit a book that was written by my high school drama director, Mr. Little. He's going to go through and self-publish the book and it should be available at Barnes & Noble by mid-summer. It's a really good book and I recommend that everyone should purchase it once it's been released. =D If you'd like to learn what the book is about, you should check out this site: The Centurion. The post that tells about the book is located at the bottom of the page. Even if you check out Little's site and find you wouldn't be interested in such a book, I ask that you still go forth and tell other people about it- 'specially if you know someone who would probably enjoy it.

Yeah, that was one of the highlights of my January: editing. I got to feel smart and important. =D

But the biggest highlight of my January, by far, is the butt-whooping that the Dover-Eyota Drama Monkeys brought to the One-Act Play Conference Competition last weekend. For years D-E has struggled to even make a placing in the competition. Last year, we finally placed and got a close 2nd to St. Charles. It was amazing; we were all ecstatic. But this year, the cast of "The Swimmer" has scored first in the conference!! It is a landmark in Dover-Eyota history: the thespians of D-E have scored first in competition. So to all the Monkeys who put such great effort into their performance and finally beat St. Charles, Congratulations!! I can't wait for you guys to go to State! Know that I'll be the first in line to battle for coach buses and fancy hotel rooms, paid by the school district, for you guys when you head up there. =D
**If you haven't seen "The Swimmer" yet, there will be a free performance in the Dover-Eyota High School auditorium after the girl's basketball game this Thursday, January 18th.**

Now I'm remembering a fountain of things I've been up to...Eep!...

I've been helping a few friends with songs for the Cancer Telethon, which is this weekend. I'll be accompanying two pieces Sunday morning, one song is "The Rose" and the other "Tears in Heaven," for a few of my friends. It should be fun, and a little nerve-wrecking, but I'm excited- though not about having to get up early.

I started clogging again! Yay! It's nice to be dancing again with other people. I found my teacher from Allegro Dance Studio is now teaching at the studio in Zumbrota, so I'm dancing up there on Thursday nights. Actually, my class is going to be performing Saturday night at the Cancer Telethon, but that's the day I get de-accessed from my chemo pump- so I'll be way too tired that night to dance. =(

That brings me in to Health News de Cheryl...

Tomorrow I have another chemo treatment. I can't even remember what round I'm on anymore, but I know they'll just be a steady thing in my future until they don't work anymore. Chemo is going a lot easier since I've stopped taking the Oxaliplatin (evil chemical...very evil...). The pump, however, has become increasingly annoying. I just can't stand being leashed to that thing for two days; it bugs me. I've kind-a come to a point where I just lounge around in pajamas the two days and don't do much of anything because it's too much effort to try and look decent. I guess this week I'll make an effort since Ben has a wrestling meet Friday that I'd like to attend and the Monkeys have their sub-section competition early Saturday morning. Hmm, I think that means I'll also be learning how to de-access myself since I'll probably be in Wabasha the time my chemo treatment ends and I don't feel like leaving Wabasha to go to the Clinic for a 30 second process. Yep, will definitely be de-accessing myself. Whoopee.

The other day I decided to start drawing again. I’m not much of an artist; my only skill lies in drawing with a Number 2 pencil. So I hunted down a sketch-pad and started doodling. I’m not very good at drawing normal scenes, so I tend to make up stuff. The end result this time was a plant-lady that’s floating and extending her “arms” towards some flowers in order to pollinate them. Her “arms” are more like leafy things with tendrils on the ends. It’s weird. I’ll try to post it on the blog, but I’ve had problems in the past with posting pictures. So if it doesn’t work, just use your imagination and maybe you’ll think of something like what I’ve drawn. =D

Besides reading Little’s novel, I’ve also gone through a couple of other books. The only one I’ve found worth mentioning is the book Beka Cooper Terrier, by Tamora Pierce. It is fantabulous, but that is to be expected in a book by Pierce. It’s about a girl on a medieval police guard making a life for herself in the city slums, a serial killer, a little strange magic, and a mysterious project involving the major thieves of the city. I recommend it to all teenage girls over the age of sixteen. Yep. =)

Okay, this post has gotten plenty long.

Before I end it, I’d like to give a thank-you to Carolann, who gave me some beautiful healing stones. Thank you very much; I love them. =D

Much love to everyone,
Cheryl

"And a Happy New Year..."

Hola!

I hope everyone's holidays were fantabulous.

Mine went pretty well. The actual holidays were great. Christmas Eve I was with my mom's side of the family and Christmas Day I was with my dad's. I got to visit with family and friends and eat lots of good food both days. It was fun. New Year's Eve I celebrated with friends.

Other holiday-break activities included making rosettes with my aunt and cousin, going to an indoor water park (Water Park of America- lots of fun: the slides are awesome), and going to the movie "Night at the Museum" with friends and just hanging out.

I'm sure I'm forgetting quite a bit, but the break was pretty busy. I know a couple days were laid-back: I just stayed at home and read a book or I went shopping with Mom.

And for a health update...

On the 20th, both Mom and I had the stomach flu. It was not fun, to say the least. I couldn't keep anything in my stomach all day and I finally ended up going to the hospital with a 102.4 degree temperature. At the hospital, I sat around for a couple hours, then finally got hooked up to an IV, and then had to wait another couple of hours for the IV to drain into my system. The next day I missed a performance of Peter Pan since I was too sore to move. Like I said, not fun.

But I recovered and was well for a while. Then one day I managed to re-pull a muscle by my hip, which left me limping around. The limp worsened as my thigh began to cramp. I took all the pain meds I knew I was allowed to take, but nothing helped. So New Year's Eve I went back to the hospital. The doctor there gave me a muscle relaxant and a serious pain medication. I don't know if either really helped with the pain much, but the pain medication made me so loopy and tired that I was able to get to sleep and not be concerned about my leg.

Yesterday I was reintroduced to my chemo treatments. I told the nurses about my leg and they called Dr. Pitot down to talk to me. He said the same thing as the doctor in the ER, that the pain was most likely muscular. That was good news, but then he had to come back and say he had considered another possibility for the pain. Pitot said it might be AVN, which I forget what it stands for, but it basically meant the steroids they had been giving me before (didn't even know I was receiving steroids, or maybe my definition of steroids differs from his) were creating little moth-eaten-like holes in the socket of my hip. My first thought was, "Great. And they didn't mention the possibility of me getting this earlier because...?" To make the news even better, he tells me there isn't anything they can do to help AVN except give meds that help relieve the pain. Meh. So if the pain in my leg/hip gets any worse, I'm supposed to let Pitot know. I don't think it's getting worse, but then again I just hung-out in bed all day and didn't do much moving at all. When I finally did get up, it didn't seem like the pain was any worse and I don't think I was limping as bad as I was before. Hopefully the pain will just go away in the near future.

Like I said before, I started chemo again yesterday. Today and half of tomorrow I'll be hooked-up to the pump. Definitely not the most fun of things; I hate lugging it around everywhere and it makes normal bathing near impossible. I'll be glad when it comes off tomorrow.

Well, I guess that's about it. My holidays were great, with the exceptions of being sick and limping. I don't start band/choir at RCTC again until the 8th, and I hope to see some more of my friends during the day before they go back to school.

ttyl,
Cheryl

"Close your eyes, listen to the skies..."

Hmm, I don't know what happened, but for some reason the last post didn't allow comments; therefore, I'm putting up a new post in case people feel like commenting.

I don't really have anything new to report. The performance of Peter Pan last night went well and we had a great audience. There were quite of few younger kids, which is always fun, and they laughed and screamed in all the right parts. We actually had a few kids who were nervous when the pirate ship came out. Mwahaha.

So, just to give this post a little more length, I'm composing a list of holiday happiness. These are just random things that make me smile during the festive season. Oh, and it's not in any particular order.

My Top 20 Holiday Happiness List

1. Festive, knee-high toe socks
2. My stocking that has little jingle bells on it
3. The hidden pickle ornament on our tree
4. A Christmas tree which lacks the Christmas walleye in plain sight and the three mushroom ornaments that are strung across the bottom
5. The snow globe with the train that moves and plays "Winter Wonderland"
6. Christmas lights that aren't burned out or arranged oddly around our garage
7. Watching the Muppet's Christmas Carol with Beth & Bri
8. Planning holiday gatherings with friends
9. An entire dining room table, plus a card table, full of Christmas goodies
10. Eating Christmas fondue until you're about twice your normal size
11. Flavored hot chocolates- especially hazlenut or French vanilla
12. Playing "Peanuts" with the family and getting overly competitive about it
13. Singing Christmas carols or playing them on piano/sax
14. Having just enough snow to cover the ground in order to go sledding
15. The classic Rankin-Bass holiday shows, like "Year Without a Santa Claus"
16. Making candycane cookies with Mom
17. Being isolated with the rest of the "kids" for Christmas dinner, even though the youngest kid is seventeen =P
18. Still believing in Santa Claus
19. Candle-lit midnight mass
20. Visiting with friends and family and not having to worry about school/work the next day

There we go. I think that's a pretty good sized list. Hopefully the comments will work again. Feel free to post your own holiday-happiness list. It'd be fun to hear some of the unique things that make people enjoy the season.

Much love,
Cheryl

"Holly leaves and Christmas trees..."

Yayayayayayayayayayay!!! I am done with all my tests!! No more online courses for me! Wooooo!!

Sure, I kind-a slacked off through out my online courses and my grades are probably looking more like B's than A's, but you know what? I don't care. I really didn't like taking courses online and I didn't apply myself half as much as I would were I in normal classes. Oh well. Like I said, I don't really care if I end up with B's in those classes and they forever tarnish my college GPA. I just don't care.

Anyways, I'm just happy to be done with them. Now I can spend my days doing whatever I want and not have to worry about taking silly online tests. Don't think that just because I'm not taking college courses doesn't mean I won't keep myself busy. I'll still be going to RCTC for band and choir, which is always fun. I'm also helping with the high school musical this coming spring, so I'll probably start looking at the score for that since I think I'm being put in charge of directing the pit orchestra (if we can get one together) and I may even be in charge of a bit of choreography.

Oh, I hadn't mentioned it in the last post, but I got a new saxophone!!! It's beautiful and it plays great! My Gma & Gpa H. got it for me as an early X-mas present. I'm so happy. I was playing a few Christmas tunes on it last night and I loved how it played. Very smooth. Made me happy. =D

Let's see...

Last night I went to the high school choir concert. I thought it went well; they sounded good. The only thing I could comment on was the lack of enthusiasm on the choir members' faces. They could have smiled a bit more or something. Oh well. After the concert I went to Baker's Square with Ben, where we met up with about twenty other members of the choir for pie. It was fun and the pie was good.

Tonight I resume my performances of Peter Pan. I'm a little nervous about people remembering lines, especially the younger kids, since we've had a week off. Hopefully they were reviewing their lines throughout the week. Otherwise I expect the play to go well. It usually does...unless we fly Peter Pan into a window again, which I doubt we will so don't get your hopes up. =P

Christmas continues its approach and I have yet to do any Christmas shopping. I hope to get to it sometime next week, but there's still the question of what to get everyone. I'll probably just end up making something as gifts. Crafts tend to go better for me than buying things.

Yeah...

I want to thank everyone for their support and comments on the last post. I'm glad people find it okay that I've been angry with God and that they're not going about and calling me blasphemous.

I guess most of my feelings are fountaining from my frustration. It was bad enough before I had cancer and was trying to figure out what I was going to do with my life. Now it's even worse. I was so used to hearing the word "Yes" in my future: Yes, you're going to college; Yes, you'll find a career you love; Yes, you'll own your own house and get married and have kids, etc. And now I've hit a big "No": No, you're not going to grow old and die peacefully in your sleep after you've lived out a normal life.
It's like having the red carpet rolled out before you and you're so excited because you can't see its end, but that doesn't matter because you know it's out there, waiting for you to walk down it. Then, all of a sudden, the carpet is cut away five feet in front of you and you're left standing at its end, staring out into the abyss which is now your future, and wondering what path you're supposed to be walking on now. It's so frustrating!
I don't know if I'll live long enough to put anything I learn in college to use. I don't know if my cancer will continue reacting to the chemo long enough for me to experience all the things that are offered to you throughout a normal lifespan. I don't know if a miracle will happen and they cure my cancer and then I don't know how to support myself because I decided not to go to college so I could do all the fun things I thought I wasn't going to get to do later in my life, like traveling to exotic places and such not. I just don't know!
There are too many "what-if's" and not being able to make a plan scares and frustrates me to no end. And what is scarier is that I know that the rest of my life is going to be that way, not knowing what's coming next. I know there's an argument that everyone's life is like that and I have a suitable counter argument, but I'm hoping you just understand what I'm getting at and you'll give me a call if you really want to push the issue because I don't feel like trying to explain it on the web.

So that pretty much sums up the reason why my last post was so angry and why some nights I just break down crying.

I don't want to seem like I'm trying to seek out pity, I just feel like I need to explain myself so my actions don't seem so erratic.

Okay, I need something happier to say as I step off my soapbox.

I'm almost done making a birthday present I started for a friend who had her birthday in October. Yeah, I know, the gift's coming a little late, but I just recently brained up the most suitable and original idea for her gift. I think I'll try and get a picture up of it once it is done because I think it's turning out really neat.

In other news, my dad has recently adorned our yard with birdfeeders and now our yard is always occupied by an assortment of birds. By the house we usually get lots of goldfinches and in the yard we have blue jays, cardinals, chickadees, red-cockaded woodpeckers, the occasional house finch, and recently we've seen a huge pileated woodpecker at the suet-feeder. It's fun to watch them. Oh, we also have a couple crazy squirrels that run around out there too. I think I might see if I can get some of the birds to eat from my hands. I know it'll take a while, but I think the end result would be worth it. We'll see though. If I don't need oxaliplatin I think I'll definitely put some time into feeding the birds. =D

Oh my gosh, I know this is random, but I saw the cutest little birds at Petsmart the other day (I dragged my mother in there to look at kitties). I have no idea how to care for birds or even if I could get a bird because I might go to school next year, but if I were to ever get a bird, I'd get this kind of bird. It was called a blue capped cordon bleu finch. It was super cute and little. It's not the kind of bird you handle and stuff, but that's okay. Yeah, that's my randomness. I thought everyone should know of the cuteness which is the blue capped cordon blue finch. =D

There. Now my post is terribly long, yet it ends on a happy note.

Hope everyone is having a wonderful week and that finals are going well for those who are in college.

Oh, and Happy Birthday Bri!

~Cheryl

"My life is changing, I'm rearranging..."

I know I haven't posted in a while. I'm sorry; I've been pretty busy and when I'm not busy, I've been lazy.

Peter Pan is going well. We've only flown Peter Pan into a window once. Don't worry, there wasn't any glass involved. He just crashed into a styrofoam frame, made it crack a bit, and otherwise everything was okay. The set didn't roll into the audience and Peter Pan wasn't hurt. It was funny afterwards, especially since James (Peter Pan) covered so well. Anyways, that's been the only incident. We now have all our cues worked out and the performances are about the best they can be. They're lots of fun, though awfully time consuming. On Saturdays I wake-up, go to the play, perform, and then hang-out in the green room with all the actors and eat pizza until it's time for our next performance. After that I go home and read a book or something and then go to bed. Very long days, very exhausting. Hopefully we won't have pizza again this Saturday; I heard a rumor that we might be having sandwiches, but we'll see.

My doctors appointments didn't quite go like I wanted them to. There was good news, but there was also a revelation that I wasn't ready for.

The good news is that the cancer is still reacting to the chemo and it hasn't visibly spread anywhere else. Other good news includes me not having to take oxaliplatin in my next treatments. That means I won't be cold sensitive and super nauseous through the holidays.

My revelation was that surgery is in fact not in my future. I thought there was a glimmer of hope that it was, but it's not. Surgery is for people who are getting better. I'm not getting better. Though I'm not currently getting worse, my health is not improving either. I knew my cancer had a slim survival rate, but I thought there was still a chance of getting rid of it. Not necessarily curing it, but maybe removing all the cancerous tissue and having all my bone re-calcify. I guess not. The news was like a slap to the face. All the doctors before seemed to imply that I might live out a normal life and everyone said this was just a detour. It's not a detour; this is the road I'm stuck with and it's bumpy and it will end in five or eight years at most. The chemo isn't treating my cancer; it's just stabilizing it. And one day it just won't be able to control it anymore and I'll be done. I can't have surgery to get rid of it because there is just too much of it in my liver and where it is at in my hip is an impossible place to have surgery done. Everyone had made it sound like the cancer in my hip was the least of my problems, but it's not. And they had made it sound like there was a chance of me getting rid of it in my liver through surgery, but that's not likely either.

So that's what I learned this last Friday. Not really what I wanted to hear, but that's life for you.

Just so I don't like to much of a pessimist, in other good news:
I'm done with my college courses this week. I have one more test and a final left and then I'll be done.
I recently found that my old clogging teacher is teaching classes in Zumbrota, so I'll get to start clogging with other people again if I can make it to classes.
The lack of oxaliplatin in my chemo is leaving me with an appetite and the ability to eat chilled foods, so I'm gaining weight.
Christmas break is in a couple weeks for my friends, so I'll get to see all of them soon.

I don't know if I'll be celebrating Christmas this year. My faith has been steadily crumbling the last few months and Friday's news definitely moved that deterioration along. I'll probably get a few comments on that; I know my mom is worried. I just don't know what to think. People have told me that having cancer will make you stronger and that God only chooses those who can endure it. To me, it seems true to those that have treatable cancers, like leukemia. But what about everyone else? "Cancer makes you stronger for the last five years you have left to live? The last five years of a life that was just starting out. That was just about to go out and make something of itself." How lame does that sound? It doesn't seem like there really is a God. If he really loved his children, he wouldn't let them get cancer. Or he'd at least come and give you a hug when you need one. And no, it's not good enough to get them through other people. That's lame too.

Yeah, I'm probably attacking the religion of almost everyone who reads this blog and probably am getting quite a few gasps. I'm sorry. That's just what I'm feeling right now.

I didn't mean to end this post on an angry note, but that's how it's going to be. Tough cookies.

~Cheryl

"I do believe in fairies!" *Clap-clap* "Wooooo!"

Happy Turkey Day!

Okay, it’s a little bit late to be saying that, but I had lots of stuff keeping me busy this past weekend to actually say it on Turkey Day.

This weekend made me realize how many things I’m thankful for.

I’m thankful for my family, including the families who have “adopted” me into their homes. My families have been my cheerleaders and supporters through every step of the way and I’m so grateful for that.

I’m thankful for the guy who sits behind the desk in the chemo ward and schedules appointments, who was nice enough to reschedule my chemo round from the day after Thanksgiving to this Monday. My weekend really couldn’t have been possible if I had had chemo on Friday.

I’m thankful for my friends. People came home from college this weekend and I got to visit with them and eat cardboard pizza. It was great. We even got to watch a festive movie. I can’t until they come home for the holidays. Oh, and I finally got my birthday present from Jase. Thanks, Jaselyn. =D

I’m thankful for the cast and crew of Peter Pan. I love being in this show. The people are so awesome. It’s almost like my Drama Monkey family, definitely not as close knit, but we’re a family of sorts. Being in the play has given me a life, something to get up and go to. I’m glad I got cast so I could run around and be a crazy pirate with a whole bunch of other goof-balls.

I’m thankful for a returned appetite. Postponing chemo treatments gave extra time for my body to rest and return to something of a state of normalcy. I ate like a normal person from Thursday to Sunday. I had full helpings at both Thanksgiving meals I attended and on Saturday at play practice I was eating constantly. All I can say is that clementines and chocolate covered nuts tasted pretty dang good.

I’m thankful to Jon, Ben, Brian, Jeff, Brandon, Matty, Josh, Robert and Greg, who all came and sang to me at the hospital today while I was getting treatment. I was so surprised! I absolutely loved their performance; they sounded great. Actually, everyone in the chemo ward liked them. So a big thank-you goes out to each of them, the parents who drove them, and Mrs. Forsman for excusing them from class to come brighten my day.

I’d also like to thank Speedy. No one around here knows Speedy, but he is a talented graffiti artist who has put his talents to making a piece of art dedicated to the blue star of hope. Thanks a ton, Speedy. Your artwork is great.

Ergh. I've tried several times to get a photo of Speedy's art onto the blog, but it's not working. I'll try to get it up in another post.

Right. I didn’t really describe my weekend in order, so maybe I’ll do a better job of doing that now.

Thursday I was with my mom’s side of the family to celebrate Thanksgiving. We ate turkey, mashed potatoes, corn, a crazy Jello dish, and pie. It was fantabulous. Then the ladies, and James, went to the Festival of Trees. Bri and I decided that each tree was subject to extensive judgment and running commentary to determine where it rated on a scale of one to ten. Needless to say, everyone else had seen every tree in the place twice while Bri and I had only seen about half of the room. But the judging was fun and we got lots of funny looks.

Friday I went to celebrate Thanksgiving with Ben’s family in Eyota. I had a good time. The food was excellent. We watched movies and played Catch Phrase. Lots of fun. After that, Ben and I went to Laura’s to visit with Jase, Connor, Ann, Robert and of course Laura. I had fun. We played with knitting needles and watched people make fools of themselves as they played Guitar Hero.

Saturday morning, from nine to two, I had tech rehearsal at the Civic Theatre. It was a very long practice. Lots of waiting. But the pirates did get a chance practice their song and throw Indians off a five foot high platform onto three squishy mattresses. And I got to jump on the mattresses like a little kid. I was amused.

After play practice I took a nap and then had friends over for a cardboard pizza and a movie. Everyone was gone earlier enough that Ben and I could finally watch “The Polar Express.” I had wanted to watch that movie for three days before I finally got to. It’s a cute flick, definitely a holiday classic. It has really good music too.

Well, I started this post Monday evening and now it’s Tuesday. I couldn’t post it last night because my play practice ended up being five hours long and I didn’t get home until 11 pm. I felt really crummy by then too. I crawled in to bed as soon as I got home; I didn’t even bother to take out my contacts or change into pajamas, just laid on my bed and had Mom rub my back for a while until I fell asleep.

I’m feeling better this morning. My stomach hurts a little bit and I’m back to being cold sensitive. At least the weather is warmer than they predicted. No snow yet, thank goodness. The rain is kind of pleasant, in a dreary sort-a way, though I would prefer a little sunshine. Maybe I’ll take Zoe for a walk today if it clears up a smidgen or if I can get bundled up well enough.

I’ll be sure to update you all again. The end of this week I start performances for Peter Pan and next week I finally have my CT-scans again so I’ll know what’s coming up next.

~Cheryl

"But I would walk 500 miles..."

Hola!

I realized that I never posted the results of my tests on Thursday.

Well, the sigmoidoscopy (oooh, fancy technical word) revealed nothing. The doctor in charge of the procedure said my stent hasn’t moved and that there is nothing that’s obstructing the current opening. All that was learned was that there is scar tissue there and that the stent isn’t the same length as the tumor, but that’s not a problem since nothing is closing off and such. The conclusion was that the bleeding is just a part of a treatment and not to worry about it unless it greatly starts to affect my hemoglobin levels.

On Friday I had an appointment with Dr. Pitot. I guess it went alright. I learned that I’m at my lowest weight yet and that it is beginning to become a concern. Dr. Pitot retold me what I already know: snack frequently and eat high calorie foods. The only problem with that is that one of the high calorie foods he recommended are those energy smoothie things and they only taste good (I’ve heard) when they’re chilled, so my cold sensitivity poses a problem in consuming such beverages. I’m trying to snack more frequently so that it’s alright that I’m eating lighter meals, but I’m still having issues with getting sick to my stomach. I’ll eat, feel fine for a bit, and then start feeling nauseous. I don’t know what the problem is. It’s not like I’m trying to starve myself. I’d be fine with regaining about fifteen of the pounds I’ve lost, it’s just that my stomach currently act like it’s battling against me. I guess we’ll see in the next few days if I can put some weight back on. I hope I do; I’m tired of having jeans that don’t fit.

In other news…

Peter Pan rehearsals continue on. We’re getting down to just having issues with technical things, like set changes and how our scenes will actually work with a complete set. The practices are still fun though. The pirates are a great group to hang-out with; we’re collectively creative and find lots of funny things to add to the play. At the last rehearsal we practiced our intermission song and figured out what we were doing at the beginning of the pirate ship scene. The song is going fairly well. We don’t all sing the same notes or rhythms, but it sounds alright. On Monday I’ll bring in my bouzouki and whistles and maybe we’ll get a few more details set in stone. Then, on December 1st, our performances start. I’m hoping that my chemo treatments will be minimal during the month of December so I’m not feeling yucky during performances or having to hide the pump in my costume. That, however, all depends on what my CT-scans show and if Dr. Cima says, “Surgery,” or, “Chemo.”

Oh, I got an e-mail today from my friend Helen. It was a forward, but it was pretty clever for a forward. The topic of the forward was a bunch of statements that play with words. Here are a couple of my favorites:
1. If you don’t pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
2. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: the small medium at large.
3. A grenade fell on to a kitchen floor in France and resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.

There were lots more, but I think those were some of the best ones.

Okay, that’s enough for today.

I will fill you in if anything interesting happens.

~Cheryl

"If You Are Paying Attention Please Yell..."

Grr…

The Clinic makes me mad sometimes. They say they’ll call you back, but of course they don’t call you until half a day later.

I’ve run into this problem twice within the past five days.

The first time was on Monday. For some reason, Saturday morning I woke up with a cold. It was horrible. My head was congested, my sinuses hurt, and I had just been de-accessed from the pump, so I was scheduled to feel like crud anyways. But still. Having a cold on top of everything was not what I wanted. So Saturday and Sunday I was miserable because no one is at the Clinic on weekends who can tell me what drugs I’m allowed to take while I’m on chemo and various other prescribed drugs. Monday morning my mom calls the Clinic to find out what I’m allowed to take. Remember, she called them at about 8 a.m., as in early. The Clinic promises it will call back with an answer shortly. Four hours later we finally get a call that says I could have taken whatever over-the-counter drugs I wanted to help with my cold. Ugh. That means I spent 2.5 days in complete misery when I easily could have remedied my situation at any time with a couple of Sudafed.

Another problem arose about the same time Saturday. I started bleeding again and bleeding quite a bit. We decided to wait on the problem since it was the weekend and it could have been caused by trivial circumstances. Monday the problem persisted. I continued to insist that we could hold off calling the doctors. After all, Dr. Pitot said I would know if bleeding were caused by something as serious, and rare, as a perforation in the lining of my large intestine. He said there would be blood, there would be misery, and there would be lots of pain. Yes, there was blood, but there wasn’t anything above the usual cramp-i-ness I feel because of the stent. So now it was Tuesday and I definitely didn’t want to go in to the Clinic because Tuesday night my mom, dad, and I were going to Ames, Iowa to see the totally awesome Blue Man Group.

I must interrupt my rant to put in a word about the Blue Man Group. There are a couple of things I think everyone should experience some time in their life. One is go see Cirque du Soleil. They’re awesome. It’s a crazy, modern circus with sweet music and incredible acts. The second thing is go see the Blue Man Group. The show we saw last night, “How to be a Megastar 2.0,” was incredibly entertaining and I’m sure everyone who would go would enjoy it (except the lady who was sitting next to us and seemed to be disturbed by all the flashing lights). The best part was the comedic acts between songs. For this show it was an instruction manual for being a rock star, so the Blue Men were instructed on how they should “establish a signature style of choreography,” “play traditional rock pieces to cover up how much of a [jerk] you have become,” and various other rock-star trademarks. It was so funny. I liked the audience participation. We were taught “key choreography,” such as bobbing-of-the-head and raising-the-roof. It was fun watching the entire audience, from old people to little kids, put their hands up and yell at the top of their lungs. In conclusion, it was an awesome experience that I would definitely go to again and recommend everyone else should see.

Okay, back to my rant.

Today is Wednesday. Dad stayed home because we determined Tuesday night that we would call the Clinic today about the bleeding. My dad called the clinic at 8:30 a.m. My original plans for the day included taking a test in the morning and then going to choir and band at RCTC. Well, I had to call in and tell my proctor that I couldn’t make the test and that I didn’t know when I was going to be in to take it. Then I missed choir because we were still waiting for the Clinic to call. I haven’t been to choir yet because of being sick and waiting for the Clinic to call back. Finally I just decided to go in to RCTC and go to band practice and then take my test. So I went in to RCTC. I guess somewhere between 2-4 p.m. the Clinic finally called back and got things sorted out with my dad. It looks like tomorrow, bright and early, I will be going in to the Clinic for a colonoscopy to check out what’s going on with the stent and see what’s causing the bleeding. I’m scheduled to be there at 6:45 a.m. for preparation stuff, followed by the examination. Meh. That’s a little too early for me, but hopefully it means I’ll be awake enough to go to choir and band.

So that’s my news. Not the most pleasant of news, except for the stuff about seeing the Blue Man Group, but that’s all I’ve got.

We’re playing Christmas tunes in band and I’m finally getting to know some of the kids. It’s a nice daily activity to participate in. =D

Tonight I have practice for Peter Pan. Right now I’m having mixed feelings about going. It’s like I want to go, but I don’t want to do anything. I don’t know; I’m just being lazy. If I think about it, I know I’ll have fun if I go and it’s better than staying at home and doing nothing.

Right. I’m done.

Hope y’all have a pleasant rest of the week.

~Cheryl

Leaping Lizards, It’s a Blizzard!

Aaaaaah! Where did all this snow come from!? I woke up this morning to the sound of thunder and I was thinking, “Oh, it must be raining outside,” but when I looked out my window there was white everywhere!

So now I’m sipping cranberry tea (thanks, Linda), the only good tea there is, and eating toaster apple strudels while I glare outside at the evil snow.

I can’t believe there’s already five inches of it out there! Yuck.

I was supposed to take a math test today, but Mom says the roads are so bad that she doesn’t want to take the chance that we’ll be in an accident on the way there and I’ll be stranded in the cold while I’m extremely cold sensitive. I feel guilty for having to ask my teacher to move the due date of my test, but it’s just not worth the risk of trying to drive in to RCTC.

Wednesday and Thursday night I had my band concerts at RCTC. I think they went pretty well. There were a couple of glitches while we were playing (like a squeaky clarinet and euphoniums not coming in when they’re supposed to) and my director even forgot his music, but otherwise everything went smoothly. The concert band played first, so I stuck around Wednesday night to hear the rest of the concert. The jazz band was really good and the choir was fun to listen to also. The last group to perform was Aires, the show choir. They had some really cute numbers, like “Route 66” and “Gimme Some Lovin’.” To say the least, they were very energetic and they kind-a pulled the audience in with their enthusiasm. I’m hoping maybe I can join it next semester, but I don’t know because you’re supposed to audition at the start of the year to get in and I’m supposed to have surgery, I think, sometime during that semester.

After I performed at the concert Thursday night, Ben took me to my Peter Pan rehearsal. Like always, I had fun and got to goof around with the rest of the pirates. It looks like we get to sing a song during a scene change or something like that, so we were picking out a song and seeing who could sing or play various instruments. It looks like the one guy knows how to play mandolin and had found a bouzouki the other day and was thinking about buying it for the play. I told him I already had a bouzouki and could bring it in for him to try. Then they asked me to bring in some of my whistles and recorders, so we might have a full ensemble of pirates singing some sort of silly sea shanty. =D

Thursday I started my seventh round of chemo. They tried giving me some new-ish drugs. Instead of feeding me an anti-nausea medication through the IV, they gave it to me in pill form. It was supposed to make me less groggy, but it still made me really sleepy so I was asleep for most of my hospital stay. Also, instead of taking compazine or zofran to keep my stomach settled, I’m now taking kytril. It seems to be working rather well; I took it last night and I didn’t feel sick at all. So I’m taking that twice a day and my stomach remains happy, verses taking the other drugs and still feeling like crud.

It looks like in a few weeks I’m going to have CT-scans again and meet with Dr. Pitot and possibly my surgeon, Dr. Cima. They also scheduled me for a bone scan since I kept asking them about the state of the cancer in my hip and they weren’t telling me anything. I don’t know if I’ll actually have the bone scan, it all depends on what Dr. Pitot says, but I’ll definitely be having CT-scans and talking about the possibility of surgery in my future. I think I’ve said this before, but I’ll post it again: the goal of having surgery is to remove the very cancerous right lobe of my liver and the primary tumor in my intestine. The result of such surgery would be a temporary colostomy bag, yet a body with considerably less cancer, which means that when I resume chemotherapy after the surgery that the chemicals can concentrate on fewer spots of cancer with greater force, which is definitely a good thing.

Oh, I’ve been meaning to do this for a while, but I kept forgetting to do it. I want to thank Jaselyn, Corey, and especially Jack for the movie they made me. Jack, if you don’t know him, is a very talented individual that makes these totally awesome videos with stop-animation (at least, I’m pretty sure that’s what it’s called). He uses Lego pieces and makes hilarious short films out of them. Recently he’s been working on a mini-series of sorts involving two characters, Jack and Jordan, who continuously get themselves into trouble. Jack’s latest “Jack and Jordan” film was made for me as a birthday present. So here is a link to it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VhV81x2QBW8. You kind-of have to know Jack, Jordan, Jase, Corey and I to get all the humor, but it’s still really funny even if you don’t know all of us. I also recommend you checking out some of Jack’s other clips, like “Motorbike” and “History Crap.” The link to his main site is this: http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=JackQ. Just browse around and watch what you please. Again, thanks Jack! You’re awesome!

Oh, I also want to thank my Aunt Lori and Uncle Jim for the teddy bear, care cards, and aromatherapy mineral bath. I think I may be making use of the bath salts some time in the next couple of days while I’m hooked up to the pump.

Well, I suppose I should go get ready for the day. I’m still lounging around in pajamas, but then again I’ll probably just bathe and change into sweatpants and a comfy shirt.

Talk to everyone later!

~Cheryl

"I'm gonna dance. I'm gonna dance, dance, dance..."

Whoa! It’s already November! Who’da thunk?

I’m definitely getting lazy on my blog posting. Sorry ‘bout that.

There isn’t too much to comment on about last week. Halloween was in there somewhere and a couple of tests. I didn’t have a costume for Halloween, but I celebrated by wearing a pair of festive socks and going to Ben’s aunt’s house to hang-out and greet trick-or-treaters. I also worked on making a cap for one of my friends. I think it turned out pretty well; it was a soft, fuzzy black cap with a couple of pink stripes. The yarn was a little weird to work with since it was so fuzzy, but I managed.

Okay, this is absurd enough that I feel this is worth posting on my blog, but to start I must fill you in on some details:

1. First, there is this girl. We will call her “Stalker.”
2. Stalker has been trying to steal my boyfriend from me for the past year and a month. This means she calls Ben’s house almost every night (using multiple phones so he can’t always know it’s her via caller-ID and hang-up on her) and has confronted Ben about “where they stand” a couple of times (as far as Ben is concerned, he feels they stand a few light-years apart).
3. I think she must be somewhat delirious since Stalker just doesn’t seem to understand that Ben and I are a couple and that our current state is not likely to change due to her actions.

“And now for the rest of the story”:

Friday night I get a call from Ben. Obviously Stalker has been communicating through Ben’s bro and has asked to come over to their house. At this point I’m thinking, “Stalker is crazy, desperate.” Ben asks if I would like to come over in order to pass a “subtle” hint along to Stalker. I say I would love to. I get to Ben’s house. I’m there for a little while when I find out Stalker has recently phoned. Ben’s bro informs Stalker that I will be at their house the same time she is. At this point, Stalker bails and says she can’t make it out to their house.

All I can say is: Mwa-ha-ha.

I don’t know if Stalker or friends of Stalker read this blog, but I really don’t care what they think. I have tolerated Stalker’s stalk-i-ness for the last year, which is longer than what a lot of my friends said they would have tolerated her. So maybe through this post, I’m hoping, she might finally get a clue.

Anyway, on to other news…

Saturday was quite a bit of fun. I went up to Gma T.’s house to help set-up her Christmas village. Yes, it is a little early to be setting-up such things, but we didn’t know when I’d be well enough or when else our schedules would work. I think our arrangement of the village pieces turned out well. I decided how the big scene would look and Gma did the two smaller ones while I took a nap (yes, I fell asleep on them…again).

Saturday night was super-fun. I got to learn the basics of salsa dancing! It’s definitely different from clogging, but it’s still fun to try. The Komaniecki’s, Ben, Jessi, and I went to a martial arts studio that was holding a lesson and open-dance. Everyone seemed to have a good time and we all came out a little wiser in the art of Latin-dancing.

Sunday I went horseback riding with my mom in La Crosse. I haven’t ridden my horse in over a year, so it was nice to ride again. Shawn, my horse, behaved reasonably well. It’s not like he’d be ready for a horse show anytime soon, but I got him to walk, trot, and lope fairly decently. We even worked on figure-8’s a little bit.

After riding we came home. Sadly my shoulder was really tight, so I had to take a Tylenol 3. That pretty-much knocked me out until it was time for dinner. I ate and then I went to band practice at RCTC. We have our concerts this Wednesday and Thursday, so this was a run-through and tweak-the-small-things type practice. I had a good time. There is a guy in our band who plays piano like no one I’ve ever seen and he started playing songs from “Wicked,” so another girl and I started singing along while he played. It was so cool.

Today was a test day. First I had my midterm for math (and got 96.6%- woohoo!) and then I went into the Gonda for blood tests. The blood tests looked pretty good. My hemoglobin is down a bit again, so I think I’ll have to get the icky shot at my next chemo round this Thursday. Otherwise, everything else looked like it was generally moving in the right way. Good test results all around.

And now I’m bumming at home and working on this post.

Oh, I guess I should mention how my rehearsals for Peter Pan are going:

They are fantabulous! I always have a great time. I must say, the pirates are going to steal the show (unless everyone else is awed by the flying kids…). The pirates are a great group of people; we all scheme together and come up with clever things for our characters to do. The last practice we were working on our “shuffling.” There is a scene where Hook has a long speech and while he talks the pirates are “shuffling” about in the background looking for lost boys. It’s a really funny bit, even though it tires out your legs after you practice it a few times. This week I have practice again on Tuesday and hopefully I’ll get to learn how I die. =D

I hope everyone can make it to see Peter Pan sometime this December. It’s going to be a really good show and kids of all ages will love it.

Actually, here are a couple of links so people can be informed as to when my RCTC concerts and my Peter Pan performances will be:
Peter Pan Info: http://www.rochestercivictheatre.org/Shows.asp?TopNavItemID=4
RCTC Info: http://www.rctc.edu/studentlife/html/music.html

I won’t be able to make it to the second two Christmas concerts due to Peter Pan performances, but I should be at the first two.

Oh! I get to join the RCTC choir too! Chuck (director of band, choir, and anything musical at RCTC) said he’d be happy to take another alto, so I’ll be joining the choir next Monday. =D

And that concludes my post.

I’ll let you know how my next chemo treatment goes and fill you in on anything interesting.

“Yay!” for the end of political ads tomorrow!

Much love,
Cheryl

"That's just the way it is, but don't you believe them..."

Eep!

I suppose it’s been a while since I last updated. I’m sorry. It hadn’t seemed like that long, but I guess it was.

So what have I been up to…

Well, October 19th marked the day Ben and I started going out a year ago. Our original plan to celebrate was to do something the following day, like go to a corn maze or something, but our plans got all switched around.

Thursday evening we ended up going to the Mayo Civic Center to see Reggie Dabbs, who was a motivational speaker/comedian who’d done a presentation at the high school. Well, what we didn’t know was that he was just one act in this huge Minnesota Christian youth convention. There were schools from all over Minnesota at this thing. It was pretty spectacular. They had five big screens above the stage displaying the lyrics of the songs a live contemporary Christian band was performing. The band was the Jon Reine Band and I thought they were pretty good. After the band was done, an in-between comic/host did a short act, which was extremely funny, and then presented Reggie’s band. His band played a few popular non-Christian songs and then Reggie began his act. It was one of the saddest things ever. I’d say almost everyone was bawling by the time it was over. The story was the story of Christ, except in a modern presentation. While Reggie told the story of a little boy and his dad who ran a railway-bridge, a silent film of the story was being played on the screens, so you could watch and listen. In the end, the dad had to sacrifice the life of his son in order to save the lives of many oblivious people on the train. It was so sad, but I thought it was a really interesting way of presenting Christ’s story. So even though the story was sad, I still had a great time.

That pretty much wrapped up Thursday. Friday I didn’t do much of anything. I hung-out with Ben for about an hour before he had to go live in a cardboard box city. I went home and called my grandma about helping me crochet hats for chemo patients. This led to me going to a church dinner with my grandma, grandpa, great-aunt and uncle. It was fun and the food was good. Plus, I got to learn how to crochet hats.

Saturday I went to Tweit’s pumpkin patch with Ben and some of his family. Tweit’s was definitely small-child orientated, but we ran around like small children and played on the playgrounds and ran through the mazes. It was a good way to get out for the afternoon.

Later in the evening Ben and I went out to eat at Olive Garden and saw a movie afterwards. We were originally going to see “The Guardian,” but the projector was broken or something, so we went to “Man of the Year.” It was pretty good, though definitely not the best movie ever.

Sunday was dinner at Gma & Gpa Tri’s to celebrate Grandpa’s birthday. We had ham and mashed potatoes. Yum. I ended-up taking a nap while I was there. I always feel so bad about falling asleep at gatherings, but I can’t help it. I really do try to stay awake.
Then the weekend was over and the week started up again. I went to band practice at RCTC, which is always a lot of fun. I love playing in bands; much more enjoyable than playing by yourself.

Tuesday I had blood tests and a visit with a nurse practitioner, instead of one of the oncologists. The blood tests came back with wonderful results. My hemoglobin is now up to 12.4, which is easily in normal range, and I don’t have to get icky, stinging shots anymore to help boost it up. Other good news includes the continual decrease of the tumor-marking enzymes. They still have a ways to go, but they’re definitely getting closer to normal. The only bad news was that I had lost a couple of pounds. I was certain I had been gaining weight since I had been eating more at breakfast and stuff the past week, but I guess I had lost too much while I had my previous round of chemo.

The next day I went in for my sixth round of chemo. All I can say was that appointment was way too early for my taste. We had to be there at 7:15 in the morning. Blech. At least I got a room with a window. The other plus side was I finished a hat and left it at the ward for somebody else. Hopefully someone will take it and maybe I’ll get to see them wearing it. =D

Yeah, so Wednesday was a chemo day which pretty much slummed the next couple days. No, wait. Laura and I got to go to Schmidt and play on the pianos and that was fun. Oh, and it’s her birthday tomorrow, so Happy Birthday Laura!!

I had my first Peter Pan rehearsal this week. It was really fun. I’m a pirate and all the other pirates are nice people, so I know we’ll have a blast. I even get to carry around a whip or a sword for the play. Mwa-ha-ha!

Friday and Saturday were the performances of “Romeo & Juliet” at the high school. I thought they went pretty well; we had a nice turn-out Friday night, though I could complain about the quality of some of the crowd.

After Saturday’s performance I went to the Ehlenfeldt’s for a cast party. There were lots of cookies, a bonfire, firecrackers, and a game of ghost-in-the-graveyard to be had. And when combined with crazy drama monkeys, it definitely makes for an entertaining time.

So now it’s Sunday again. I’m finally starting to bounce back from chemo, though I’m still considerably cold sensitive. I’d have to say that’s the worst part of my chemo treatment, especially with this cool weather. Oh well, it’ll go away eventually.

This week looks like it’ll be a busy one. I have a couple of tests to take, rehearsals for band and Peter Pan, Halloween to acknowledge, and a few more hats to make. It’ll be nice to be kept busy; hopefully I can stay awake for all of it. =D

Much love,
Cheryl

"I lost myself in a familiar song..."

Hey!

I just felt like posting to point out how beautiful the day was today. I couldn’t believe how warm it was! Even I could go outside with just a sweatshirt and be happy.

Today I slept in. It was wonderful. We put flannel sheets on my bed and they’re so soft. I felt like I was sleeping on a warm, fuzzy marshmallow. It was also nice having my bed made up since the night before I had managed to relocate all of my blankets and ended-up with a tangled mess on top of me that didn’t even cover my toes. But yeah, I’m loving the new flannel sheets. They don’t quite match the rest of my bed set, but their warmth and softness make up for it.

After I got up I lounged around like I always do on Sunday mornings and read the comics. I had a PB&J toast for breakfast, showered, then came out into the living room to socialize with Greg until Mom and Dad got home from grocery shopping.

Then Mom and I headed into Hancock Fabrics and I got some yarn, a crochet hook, and a book on how to make various hats, scarves, and mittens. The last time I was in the chemo ward I saw they had baskets of hats that people had bought or made and donated to patients undergoing chemo treatments. I thought that was the coolest and sweetest thing ever and so I’m going to learn how to make happy, fuzzy hats for fellow fighters. =D I’m excited to start; it’ll give me something productive, besides homework, to do when I’m trapped inside.

The next stop on our outing was Sekapp’s orchard. I love going there; it’s always fun. I got to pick out pumpkins to carve while Mom hunted down pie pumpkins. I saw the cutest thing too. There was this young family, with two little ones about two years old, who were trying to get pictures taken with the pumpkins. The kids were adorable; they both had little pumpkin hats and they were all smiles. It was funny too because the youngest kept taking off his hat before his mom could snap a picture and then he’d smile up at his dad, who would relentlessly keep putting the hat back on his son’s head. Then there was another family there with a little boy about five years old who kept rushing to the gourd bin to pick out miniature gourds to take home; he was so excited that there were vegetables that were his size that he could carry around or add to the cart. We finished our shopping by purchasing a couple bags of apples and a jug of apple cider and snacking on a couple of the sample apples that Sekapp’s keeps out for everyone.

We came home and I browsed the internet and ate lunch. Kelby came over later in the afternoon and we visited for a while. It was nice seeing her again; I haven’t seen her since she left for school.

Today also marks the second day of Greg’s addiction to the game “Guitar Hero.” His first day of addiction began when he played it at a friend’s house. Then today he went out and purchased his own game and controller. I must admit, it is a pretty fun game, even though I’m terrible at it. It’s kind-of like Dance-Dance Revolution, but instead of having a dance pad where you have to step on certain places at a certain time, you have a controller shaped like a guitar where you have to press one of five buttons on individual “frets” and strum a separate key at the same time. All of this is done to the music of popular rock tunes, like “I Love Rock & Roll” or “Smoke on the Water.” It definitely requires some coordination. Even as I write this post, Greg is fueling his addiction. Hopefully he can pry away from the PS2 console long enough to go to school and cross country tomorrow. =P

That pretty much sums up my day. I don’t really feel like retelling what I did all of Friday or Saturday. The most notable events of those two days consist of the cancellation of my first Peter Pan rehearsal, the Eagles defeat by the St. Charles’ Saints in high-school football, a trip to Barnes & Nobles, and spending an evening with Ben watching X-Men III and the crazy people on Food Network trying to break world records in cooking-related events.

I’m hoping the warm weather holds so that I can be outside some more while my cold sensitivity dwindles to its minimum. It’d definitely be nice to sit outside and help Dad carve pumpkins or to take Zoe on a walk.

Well, this shall conclude today’s post. This week promises to be a busy one and hopefully everything continues along swimmingly. =D

Much love,
Cheryl

"Oh, the weather outside is frightful..."

I have always enjoyed the first snowfall of the new school year. I don’t know why, but I always thought the event was something special: that random day where snow appears too early and quietly falls to melt on green grass. It makes you immediately want to go frolicking outside. It makes you want to shudder at the thought of having to drive through a few more feet of it piled on top of icy roads. It makes you wonder if you could get the teacher to let the entire class go outside to play in the snow and avoid working the rest of the hour…

Anyways, yesterday I watched the snow fall and I cried. I had just been de-accessed from the pump and was already in a crummy mood, then it had to go and snow and I couldn’t help crying since I was trapped inside due to my sensitivity to cold. I realized that most my winter will be like this, if not worse. I’m really going to have to careful so that I don’t go outside one day, take in a deep breath of refreshing cool air, and then pass out from my airways constricting. I’ve already decided that I should try to convince the insurance companies that I must be relocated to Australia, Hawaii, or the Bahamas for a while so that I don’t have to deal with the cold. After all, the trip wouldn’t be for pleasure, it would be necessary due to health concerns. =P

Okay, that’s enough about that. Here’s a quick update of what I’ve been up to:

1. Hanging-out with Veronika before she returned home on Sunday. It was great seeing her again and I miss her already.
2. Homecoming festivities: Watching the parade, decorating Ben’s car with Streaky Gopher (Jase) and Whispering Wombat (Veronika), watching the game (we won! wooo!!), and going to the bonfire (it was a very big fire, I was impressed).
3. Hanging-out with friends: Jase and Laura were home for the weekend, so a good-sized group of us went to a movie and to Baker’s Square for pie.
4. Band & play practice: Going to band at RCTC (lots of fun when my hands aren’t sensitive) and attending my first Peter Pan rehearsal (I’m a mute pirate, but hey- I get to be a pirate! Arrr!)
5. Chemo: Blech. I have a renewed hatred of chemo treatments. They make me feel so gross. Blech. I just can’t say “blech” enough to express how icky it makes you feel. Blech.
6. Homework: The continual pursuit of knowledge in regards to mathematics and environmental biology. They’re both going pretty well. I even understand math again. Thanks a ton Mrs. Houghton and Mr. Harris!!

That’s pretty much it. Tonight I’m babysitting Pitt’s son and tomorrow I have a math test and play practice. Hopefully I can get back to RCTC to play in the band. It was hard when I went in Monday since the room was so cold and my hands got super tingly and stiff.

I finished my book today, so now I have nothing to read again. Supposedly Diane Duane’s next book is coming out sometime this fall. I really hope it is. I love her books and I’ve never been disappointed by anything of hers that I’ve read.

So, yeah. That’s it.
Pray for warm weather.

~Cheryl

“Because I knew you...I have been changed for good.”

Good strange-twilight-zone-between-morning-and-afternoon!

Hmm, what to tell you about my week...well, probably everything:

Monday Veronika and I hung-out together all day after I had taken a math test (got 100% on that one). We went to Panera’s for lunch with mi madre and then we headed to Petit Music to get my piano book (piano/vocal selections from the musical “Wicked”- me gusta). Afterwards we went to the mall and I got a couple pairs of pants that actually fit and the second book by Alison Croggon. Then we went to play practice. It was fun. We got to torture people for missing their cues. Mwa-ha-ha! =D When play practice was done we came back to my house and made dolls from a kit. They turned out really cute, but all I can say is that kit is not made for kids 7+, it’s made for kids at least 16+. The glue and double-stick tape were evil, to say the least.

Tuesday I realized I had a biology test I had to take Wednesday and I head yet to start the chapter. So I plowed through the lectures, eventually Veronika and I had lunch, and then we went to play practice again. I took Veronika back to the Porcher’s after practice and I went home to work on math, which did not go very well. It made me mad. It’s simple stuff that I should have known how to do right away, but I didn’t and that frustrated me. Dad and I had dinner and then I went to audition for Peter Pan at the Rochester Civic Theatre. I thought my audition went pretty well, though I didn’t get called back Wednesday. Even if my audition didn’t go as well as I thought it did, I still had lots of fun. I met a couple of girls who were really nice and were as ignorant as I was to how auditions went for the Civic Theatre. We practiced together before we had to audition and then we ended-up being audition-buddies and auditioned together. It was so much fun! The director had us read the lines we had been given, then switch roles, and then we did accents. We got to talk like fancy English people and growl like pirates. Like I said, it was loads of fun. I really I hope I get a part in the play. It’d be nice to act again instead of just advising people about how they should act for their play.

Wednesday I had doctors appointments and a biology test(which didn’t go as well as I wanted; I should really learn not to second guess myself). At the Gonda building I had blood drawn and then Dad and I went to have lunch at Brueger’s Bagels. I’ve decided I like having bagels as sandwich bread; it tastes really good. Then we waited. And waited. Oh, then I met Neil and was happy to finally meet him. But then we waited some more. And I studied a little and probably should have studied more. And then Mom came. And we waited together. Yeah, there was lots of waiting. Finally we got called back, and guess what we did? Waited some more!! I almost started rolling through the halls on the doctor’s chair and asking when we were going to see someone. At last Dr. Cima came in with his resident and follower-lady and he told me some things I expected and some things I didn’t.

What I was expected was that I wasn’t going to have surgery yet. Cima thinks I should just keep going with the chemo since it’s working and we’ll take stuff out when things are more cleared up. The main thing is that there is lots of cancer on the right lobe of my liver and just a little on the left side. Cima is thinking that we could get the left side cleared-up as much as possible and then we’ll meet with a liver surgeon and together that surgeon and Cima will gut me open like a fish and they’ll take out the right lobe of my liver and the stent and intestinal tumor in one operation. I’m not too excited about being cut from sternum to past my navel, but if that’s what’s going to help, I guess that’s what I’ll be doing. Then we saw Dr. Pitot and reviewed what we had talked about with Cima and ordered the next round of chemo. Oh, I got weighed and I have gained a pound! Woooo! So, ha, Dad! I won the bet! *happy dance* =D

Wednesday night was not a good evening. I was taking my stupid math quiz for about the sixth time and still not doing as well as I liked. The frustration of math got me frustrated about everything and I had something of a nervous breakdown. Luckily Ben came to lend me a shoulder to cry and provided lots of hugs and I eventually calmed down and went to bed.

Today has gone much better. It started out with me waking-up and getting what I think Brandon called monkey bread. So thank-you Schmidt’s; it is absolutely delicious! =D The monkey bread must have fueled my brain with a couple more IQ points and I went after the math quiz one more time and got 100%. After that I went to RCTC to have my math test proctored. According to the system, I got one wrong, though I am positive that I got it right, so I’ll have to e-mail my professor about that. After the test I came home and played piano. I love my “Wicked” book; the songs are awesome. Oh, and I submitted my biology homework.

And now I’m working on this post and am pondering what to have for lunch before I get to go back to RCTC and play with the concert band. I’m excited. I like playing in bands. It makes me super happy. =D After that I’ll probably steal Veronika and we’ll go to play practice and meet up with Jase. I think we’re all going to bum together tonight and it should be lots of fun.

Friday is homecoming and I’ll be found bundled up at the football game in the evening. The other thing that occurs Friday is the posting of the results of the Peter Pan auditions. Though I didn’t get called back, I still might get a little part or be signed-up for helping with something else. The problem is that the results are posted at 5:30 p.m., so it’ll be a race to go see them, eat, and get to the football game. Oh well. Hopefully I’ll manage.

Well, that’s all the news I have.

Oh, wait, I found this site and I highly advise that you check it out. It is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. Just type in a web address and the web page will be “translated” into a funny dialect. I put in the blog’s address and it was fun seeing my writing done in Redneck. =D Here’s the link to the page: The Dialectizer.

Hope everyone’s weekend goes well.

Much love,
Cheryl

"Something Told the Wild Geese..."

Something told the wild geese
It was time to go.
Though the fields lay golden
Something whispered, "snow."
Leaves were green and stirring,
Berries, luster-glossed,
But beneath warm feathers
Something cautioned, "frost."
All the sagging orchards
Steamed with amber spice
But each wild breast stiffened
At remembered ice.
Something told the wild geese
It was time to fly -
Summer sun was on their wings,
Winter in their cry.
~Rachel Field

I always felt this poem was the epitome of fall. My junior high choir sang it for our first concert and I loved the haunting melody and all the autumn images in conjured.

Lucky for all us south-eastern Minnesotans the next couple days promise to be anything but frosty and I, for one, will exploit the good weather to its fullest.

Now to recall what I’ve been up to since I last posted…

Well, last Saturday and Sunday I didn’t do much of anything because I felt crummy from the chemo, though on Sunday I did go to Ben’s bro’s confirmation reception with my family and we all ate and visited for a while.

Monday I started to bounce back and somewhere between Monday and Wednesday I went to a soccer game, helped out with play practice, went to Petit Music and Hobby Lobby, and baby-sat Ani with Veronika. It was all fun, though I wasn’t bundled up enough at the soccer game and ended-up with cold-sensitive hands and nose, which is really weird; having a nose that is super-tingly when you touch it is just odd.

Thursday I spent reading and finishing a book called “The Naming” by Alison Croggon. It was really good, but what was weird was that the author made it sound like all the things that took place in the book were real, which seems unlikely since there was magic and mystical creatures, like wers, included in the story. I read the appendices and I guess that some texts were found that implied that there was an Atlantis of sorts and that this was the society that inhabited it. Here’s a link to the online version of the appendices: http://www.alisoncroggon.com/fantasy/brief.html. It’s an interesting idea that there was real magic on our planet once, but I don’t know how much faith I’d put in believing that it’s true.

Later Thursday I went to brass band rehearsal. I’m really having fun playing with this band. I’m even on the first saxophone part and get to play a solo! It’s a pretty solo too in a song called “A Rhapsody for Hanukah.” I don’t know when we’re having any concerts, but I’ll be sure to let you all know in case you want to come and listen. We play lots of marches, two steps, and other bouncy songs, so it’s fun to listen to.

Friday morning Mom and I ran into Rochester to get me some decent winter gloves and matching hat so that I wouldn’t have to worry about tingly appendages at games anymore. We also picked up a pair of fashionable, fuzzy boots that keep my feet nice and warm. That evening I went to the football game with Veronika. Sadly, it was raining and we lost the game, but afterwards Veronika and I went to the Country Café for pie and hot chocolate, so all was well. =D

Yesterday was awesome. The day started early with having to get ready for buddy pictures with Greg in Stewartville. It didn’t take long to get our photographs taken and there were a couple that turned out, so that’s good. When we got home I changed into comfy clothes and lounged around the living room. I ended-up buying this addicting computer game called Talismania. It’s so fun; the goal of the game is to rotate tile pieces so you can make as long a circuit as possible to earn coins to help King Midas build various things for other people. I played it for a while and when Greg got back from his run I told him he should try it, so we both ended-up playing it for the rest of the morning and into the early afternoon. Then Ben came over and the three of us were playing it for a little while. It really is an addicting game. When we were done with Talismania, Ben and I grabbed a blanket and enjoyed the great outdoors by napping in a partially sunny spot in the yard. Zoe, my dog, thought that was great. She’d run up to us and roll on the blanket and then she’d go off to get her ball and give it to us to throw. Soon it was dinner time and we went in and had steak and potatoes and watched an episode of Stargate SG-1. Earlier that day Lori Ehlenfeldt had called and said she had some music for Veronika and I to look at, so Ben and I picked-up Veronika after dinner and we headed to the Ehlendfeldt’s. Then, surprise! My friends had been planning a surprise birthday party for me. It was great! Almost all my friends were there, even the one’s who are far away at college. I was so happy to see everyone and the party was really fun. We had a bonfire and all lounged around and talked and there were fireworks and everything. I couldn’t have asked for more. Thanks to everyone who came and were involved in the planning. It was the best present ever. =D

So now it’s Sunday. I got up around 8:30 a.m. and wandered into the living room to read the Sunday comics. Mom had just left to go ride horse, Dad was getting ready to grocery shopping, and Greg was still sleeping, so soon I was left by myself. I finished reading the comics and decided that my bed had been abnormally comfortable this morning, so I retreated back to my room and slept until 10 a.m. I woke-up again and Dad was home and had brought me donuts. So I had a donut with chocolate frosting and Halloween themed sprinkles for breakfast. Delicious. Then I showered and now I’m working on this post. I don’t know what I’ll be doing for the rest of the day. I think I’ll call some of my friends who are in town for the weekend and see if they want to hang-out. Maybe they’ll be in the mood to enjoy the nice weather outside too. Either way, it looks like today promises to be a good day.

Thanks again to everybody.

Much love,
Cheryl

“Someone I am is waiting for my courage; the one I want, the one I will become, will catch me. So let me fall…”

Greetings.

Yesterday I went in for my fourth round of chemo and to hear the results of the blood and CT-scans, along with what the geneticists discovered. I didn’t get any printed results, so I can’t provide any numbers, but here’s the gist of what we were told:

1. Hemoglobin is still rising; it’s up to about 11-something. In addition, the size of my red blood cells is also increasing, so the shots and the daily multi-vitamins I’m taking must be working. Dr. Pitot also said I didn’t have to take the icky iron supplements, unless I had a day where I thought I could tolerate them. I’ve decided that day is never, so they’ll just have to come and shove them down my throat if they really want me to take them.

2. The two enzymes I mentioned in a previous post that act as tumor markers are still decreasing, so yay for that.

3. We got to see the CT-scans and the outsides of the tumors in my liver are darkening, which I guess is a sign that they are reacting to the chemotherapy and that the tumor cells on the inside of my liver will soon begin to die. The main tumor in my intestine is starting to shrink as well.

4. The test results to see if there were mutations in my genes that would cause FAP (condition where there are thousands of polyps in your intestine) and MYH (multiple polyps, but not so many as FAP, in your intestine) both came back negative. This means I won’t pass either mutation on to any children I have in the future. I thought that was good news.

So now the question is, “What comes next?” Well, we don’t know. We have to consult with my original oncologist (Dr. Erlichman) and with my surgeon (Dr. Cima) about whether I’ll be having surgery next or if I’ll have another set of chemo like I just had. The problem with surgery is that we don’t know if it will be a laparoscopic surgery or one where they’ll have to cut me open. Either way, there is a strong chance that I’ll end-up having to have a colostomy bag. I was in a rather sour/cry-ish mood when I was told that and was presented with a lecture by Dr. Pitot that there are tons of people who live normal lives with a colostomy bags and no one even knows. I don’t think he understood that I was upset because having a colostomy bag is not a normal choice for a lifestyle change in a teenage girl. I know it’s not the end of the world to have one, I would just prefer not to have one. I was also scared to death at the thought of having to go through a big surgery. Surgery is scary and I was hoping that the tumor in my intestine would melt away so that the only procedure I would have to have would be removing the stent. Doesn’t seem like it’s going to be that way. The other problem is that if I continue chemotherapy, I’ll probably have to have my chemicals changed around a bit. I can’t continue taking the Oxaliplatin because it will cause permanent nerve damage, so I don’t know if they’ll just have me stop taking that drug or if they’ll switch me over to something else. Another reason I was in a poor mood during my visit with Dr. Pitot included learning that I was still losing weight when I was positive that I had gained weight. Also, I guess I won’t be just bounding off to college second semester. They say it will be too stressful, physically and mentally, so I’ll probably only be able to be a part-time student at most. Not quite the news I wanted to hear. I guess I had it in my head that this all was really just a short detour in my life, that by the start of the new year I could leave all this cancer business behind. It was quite a slap in the face to be told that’s not how it’s going to be. Oh well.

In other news…

My birthday went well. I got a new mp3 player, clothes, a CD, and a date for dinner and movie of my choice. Very good gifts, I must say, and a pretty fun day.

Yesterday, like I said, I had chemo, so now I’m hooked-up to the pump until Saturday. I’m not sure what my plans are for today. I think Mom and I might go visit Petit Music to see their new showroom and see if my piano book is in. I don’t think I’ll be going to the football game in Goodhue; it just looks too icky outside and if it’s too cold I’ll have a problem ‘cause of the chemo-sensitivity. Might be a good night to curl-up and read.

Saturday I plan on going to help with play practice. Actually, I might do that today too. Veronika is arriving in Minnesota late tonight, so I’ll get to see her tomorrow at practice. I’m so excited! I haven’t seen her in over a year and she is my best-est Australian friend. =D

Oh, I must give a thank-you to whoever left me the basket of bread, cider, and mulling spices. You didn’t leave a note in the basket putting your claim to it, but I love it all the same, so thank-you. =D

I guess that’s about it.

Much love,
Cheryl

"So if you care to find me, look to the western sky..."

Hola!

Well, life has plodded along and it has brought us to this day, which is remarkable solely because it is Shania Twain’s birthday. =P

I guess I’ve been keeping somewhat busy. Since last Monday I have: helped with play practice, had a saxophone lesson, pretended I was a teacher (I got to lead the ninth-grade choir while Mrs. Forsman dealt with some troublesome boys), went to a football game, and have played in both a brass band and a jazz band. I had a lot of fun playing with the Chatfield Brass Band; we have fun songs that we’re working on and the people there are great. Last night I played with 37th Street Gold, the IBM jazz band. I must say that I played horribly; I was playing lots of music wrong that should have been easy enough for me to sight-read. I don’t know if it’s because my brain was turned off, that the music was too far away on those silly jazz stands, or if I just can’t read jazz music like I can other music, but I was not impressed with how I played in the least. However, the people there were a fun bunch and didn’t mind having me play with them, so I might try another rehearsal before I decide if I’m just going to be a hindrance if I join them or not.

What else…

Saturday I went to Ben’s house for a gathering of friends. It was fun. We visited, had popcorn, and strapped people into this odd machine that tips you upside-down and lets you just hang there by your ankles. I have no idea what the machines true purpose is, but it was interesting, especially when people came and tickled the person who was trapped and hanging by their ankles. =D

Sunday I finally got to go book shopping. I have been in desperate need of some books for the past couple of weeks, so Mom and I made a trip to Barnes & Noble and I got a couple of books. I’ve already finished the one and I think I’ll probably start the other one today. It looks like it should be a good book.

Also on Sunday I had both sets of grandparents and Ben over for a birthday dinner. My dad made sweet and sour pork and it was delicious, definitely better than anything the Chinese restaurants can come up with. After dinner I got to open some gifts. I love everything I got: a sweater (which I definitely needed since the temperature has plummeted), a music T-shirt, fuzzy socks (yay! I love fuzzy socks…), some money, and a super-cute doll/figurine who’s playing the saxophone (his face is adorable). My mom and dad decided to let me open a gift from them too; they gave me the Renewal Angel with Attitude pendant that I’d seen at Lasker’s during one of our hospital visits. It’s absolutely gorgeous; here’s a link to a picture of it: Angel of Renewal. After opening gifts we were going to have dessert, but we were all still full so we had to postpone eating the wonderful peach, blueberry, and pound cake dessert Mom had made until later in the evening.

So, yep. That was my weekend. A rather good one all-in-all.

Oh, yesterday I also took another biology test. It went very well, I think. I had forty-five minutes to take it, used only twelve, and I know I got 100% on the multiple-choice. I think I answered the short answer questions satisfactorily as well, but we’ll just have to see. I have yet to take the pretest and test for chapter 1 in my math class, but I’m not too concerned. I don’t think the material for the class will get too difficult, so I should be able to breeze through most of it and if I ever have problems or questions, I’ll just go bug Mr. Harris or Mrs. Houghton at the high school.

Yay! I just got flowers. Thanks, Veronika! They are very pretty. =D

Later today I’ll probably go to play practice and then just stick around and watch the girls’ soccer game. Hopefully it doesn’t rain then.

Tomorrow I have blood tests and CT-scans. I’m kind-of anxious for Thursday since we’ll get to meet with Dr. Pitot and see what the results of the scans were, plus we’ll get to maybe learn why I have this cancer when we meet with the geneticist. The only downside of Thursday is that I have another round of chemo *wrinkles nose*. CT-images are so cool to look at, though I’d have to say bone scans are better because you can watch the image of your skeleton slowly appear on the screen as it scans you rather than waiting for a doctor to bring it up during an evaluation meeting. Actually, I think bone scans are better overall. Sure, you have to drink so much water that you have to scuttle to the bathroom every other minute prior to the scan and the scan itself takes awhile, but at least the medium they use doesn’t require an icky arm IV like the CT-scans do and you don’t have to worry about the possibility that they’ll make you drink a contrast-medium shake. Blech.

I see sunshine! Hooray!

I guess that’s it. I think I’m going to go have lunch and figure out whether I want to make the journey to Schmidt Music by myself to snag the last copy of the “Wicked” piano/vocal book or wait to go with someone else. Then again, I wonder if Petit Music has it. I still haven’t seen the new showroom and I’ve heard it is spectacular. Maybe I’ll ring them up and see if they have a copy. Yeah, I like that plan better.

Anyways, I’ll be sure to post the results of the scans on Thursday.

Thanks to everyone for cards and comments!

Much love,
Cheryl

Denim, Hoodies, & Cider

Today is September 11, 2006, five years after the attacks on the World Trade Center and Pentagon. I feel like I should write something concerning this topic, but I don’t know what to say that doesn’t sound lame and doesn’t repeat the general feelings of having our lives touched by such a tragic event. I guess what I would really like to say is just a thank-you to those who are currently serving our country in the armed forces. I don’t really know anyone personally who is fighting in Iraq, but I’m sure that there is somebody who reads my blog and knows someone who is serving and could possibly pass on my thank-you to them. Just let them know that I am grateful that they are fighting for my life there so that I can fight for my life here. (I hope that doesn’t sound too dramatic. If it does, tell me and I’ll change it to something a bit more normal.)

Well, I’ve had various people asking me how my third round of chemo went, so I figured I had better update the blog a bit.

My third round went pretty well. I had to stop taking the iron pills again; they were making me ill, which doesn’t help when I already feel icky from the chemo. Otherwise everything went according to how it should: I felt like I had been run over by a steamroller for a couple of days, couldn’t consume/touch anything cold for a few days, and did quite a bit of sleeping. Yep. Hopefully Erlichman understands me giving up the iron supplements again. I just don’t like feeling more sick than I have to while I’m hooked-up to the pump.

Yay! It’s almost fall! It already feels like fall, I know, but soon it will officially be the best season ever.

There are many reasons that autumn is the best of all seasons, a few of them being listed as the title to this post. The return of jeans I think is one of the best things about fall. My pasty, pale legs can exist in a state of Sasquatch-i-ness and no one will even know. Mwa-ha-ha, I love it. The second bit of wonderfulness concerning fall is being able to wear comfortable hoodies. Not much can beat a long-sleeved shirt with a hood that you can cuddle into and wear over multiple layers of clothing. And last, but definitely not least, is hot apple cider. When it’s cool and yucky outside (sort-a like it has been most of this week), a mug of hot cider with cinnamon will always put a smile on your face. I must say that the best hot apple cider is done on the stove and is mixed with cinnamon and a couple cloves of nutmeg or mulling spices, but seeing as how my cooking abilities (even just mixing a couple ingredients for cider) are null, I’ve had to settle with it being nuked in the microwave. It still contains smile-making powers when done that way, it’s just that they aren’t as potent, if that makes any sense. =P So, yeah, I love autumn. It’s not just the denim, hoodies, and cider, it’s that whole country-feeling of harvest, colorful leaves, and high-school fall athletics too. =D

Okay, if you’ve gotten to here you’ve survived my whimsical rant about fall. Next is an account of what else is going on and is to be expected in my life within the next week or so. Probably not the most interesting stuff to read, so I’ll understand if you stop reading now.

I’ll begin with how my biology test went. I took it Wednesday morning before I started chemotherapy. I believe it went rather well. I had forty-five minutes to take it, though it took only about twenty minutes to complete it, and I know I got 100% on the multiple-choice. I think I did well on the short answer too; none of the questions really scared me since I’d studied beforehand, so I’m confident I got an A on the test overall.

Next I had chemo and didn’t do much else for that day. Thursday I slept all day and Friday was fairly similar. Oh, wait, Thursday I went to the high school with Dad to see if my saxophone had been fixed. Unfortunately, and fortunately, it hadn’t even been looked at yet and was still up at Eckroth music. That meant I got to take home the most gorgeous saxophone ever and I get to keep/play it at my house until this Thursday. It is the best saxophone in the whole wide world (well, at least to me it is). The low notes, even the low D, play wonderfully for me: they sound so full and in-tune. It makes me happy. There is a picture of it at this link: http://www.cannonballmusic.com/images/a5l.jpg. The only difference is that the saxophone in that picture has jasper keys and the one I’ve been playing has tiger-eye keys. It’s gorgeous. I’m hoping that my saxophone will be returned and play its low notes just as well as the Cannonball saxophone, but if it doesn’t I think I’ll be looking into the permanent possession of a Cannonball saxophone a little bit more.

Like I said, Friday’s activity included more sleeping, so onto what I did Saturday…

First I got-up and went to play practice at the high school. I thought maybe I was going to be useful and paint something or work with someone, but I ended-up just watching and periodically telling people to be louder as they said their lines. It was still fun to be there though. Saturday evening I hung-out with Ben. We were at his church for a while since his family was helping get the church ready for an auction and after that Ben and his brother were a part of a student panel who explained the benefits of their mission trip to the group’s sponsors. Then Ben and I came to my house and we watched “Without a Paddle,” the end of “The Parent Trap,” and various HG-TV shows.

Sunday was pretty uneventful. I went to church at Faith United Methodist. It was a good service and I got to see those who have been praying for me and sending me cards, so I had fun. When I got home Dad and Greg were cleaning and removing the fireplace downstairs so that we can have a new gas fireplace installed this Thursday. When they were done with that Dad went to get groceries, which included picking-up apple cider for me; therefore, I had a mug of hot apple cider when he returned. Actually, I think I was sleeping when he returned. I had a very nice three-hour nap on Sunday; I was cuddled under my fleece blanket and had my fuzzy socks on, so I was pretty content to sleep the afternoon away. Later we had Ben over for enchiladas/tacos and we watched “The Fantastic Four” before he had to go home.

So that concludes my update. Today I think I’ll go to play practice and see if I can be of any use. I’ll also probably start working on homework again. Blech. Actually, it’s not too bad. I don’t mind listening to biology lectures and math isn’t anything horrible either. I think I’m going to be dropping sociology. The topic never really interested me and I think it’s odd to be taking a class about the study of people when I am trapped at home in front of a computer and the only people I see are my mom and dad. Actually, the main reason is that the class isn’t set-up easily so that I can juggle it and chemo at the same time. There’s lots of work and information that needs to be retained over a long period of time, which is hard when the chemo treatments shut me down periodically for a few days at a time. So hopefully I can drop the class without any consequences and I’ll just continue on with math and biology.

Okay, that’s officially it.

Much love,
Cheryl

"And would it be okay if I didn't know the way"

Aloha!

Here is a quick weekend-in-review before I get to some exciting information:
Saturday: A little shopping with Mom at the mall, going to Quarry Hill with Ben and exploring some of the trails, and watching Emperor’s New Groove with Ben, Robert, and Laura. Fun Saturday.
Sunday: Un viaje al Centro Comercial de America con mi madre (a trip to the Mall of America with my mom). It was a very successful trip, I must say. I found quite a few clothes I really liked that will work well for wearing in the fall. We got to eat at Tony Roma’s for lunch too, which means a delicious meal of Carolina honey baby-back ribs. Yum. Then we stopped at Linda’s for a bit, came home, ate pizza, and watched "Take the Lead" with Antonio Banderas. I thought it was a good movie and would recommend it to those who like dancing movies.
Monday: A shopping trip with Nicole to Michael’s to spend my gift card and purchase a craft for the afternoon. We decided on making moccasins from a kit and decorating them with rhinestones. It was a fun way to spend the afternoon and our moccasins look awesome. =D Then I ate lasagna with the family for dinner and later Ben and I went to DQ for some ice cream.
So my weekend was quite enjoyable. My room even managed to remain in a state of cleanliness, which is an added bonus.

But now for my exciting news:
Today I went in to have my blood drawn and for another meeting with Dr. Erlichman…
Good News #1: My hemoglobin is up to 10.8 from 9.0. Hopefully it will keep going up until it is in the normal range of 12-15.5.
Good News #2: My white blood and platelet counts are normal. I kind-of figured they would be, but it’s still good news to know that they are as they’re supposed to be.
Good News #3: Okay, this one takes a bit to explain, but it is the best one of all. When I get my blood drawn and tested, Dr. Erlichman watches the levels of two different enzymes in my blood. One is Alkaline Phosphatase and the other is Serum Glutamic Oxaloacetic Transaminase (sGOT), also known as AST (Aspartate Aminotransferase). The first (Alkaline Phophatase) is an enzyme found in the liver, especially when there is tissue damage. The second (sGOT/AST) is an enzyme used as a tumor marker. My good news is that the levels of both enzymes in my blood are going down, which means something must be going right with my treatment. =D
Good News #4: The first time I was examined by Dr. Erlichman he told me he could feel my liver; this is not a good thing since your liver is supposed to be hidden beneath your ribcage. But today he examined me again and said he could no longer feel my liver, which means it isn’t inflamed like it was before. Just another sign that something is going right.

That concludes my happy news. I still have a ways to go before the enzyme levels are in the normal range, but it’s nice to know that they’re continuing to decrease towards normalcy. I also found I’m still anemic, despite the increase in hemoglobin. Apparently the general size of my red blood cells is still too small (mine: 69.9 fL; normal: 81.6-98.3 fL), but the problem is due, of course, to being low on iron. Dr. Erlichman didn’t sound too concerned about me being anemic since it is a common problem amongst teenage girls and told me to try taking one iron supplement a day and to continue taking the funky green pills that keep me from feeling nauseous in order to correct the problem. I’m also underweight yet, but I’ve been eating better the last few days and hopefully that trend will continue.

Tomorrow I have my third round of chemo. I’m assuming it will be like the last couple rounds and I can’t wait to get it over with and go back to being able to eat cold things and not being tired all the time.

After this next round I have one more round of chemo left in this set. The week I have my fourth round of chemo I’ll go in for a couple of CT-scans to see how everything is actually doing verses just basing it off of blood work. Dr. Erlichman suspects that after the fourth round I’ll probably go through another four-round set of chemo and then I don’t know what will happen after that. It all depends on how the cancer reacts to the continued rounds of chemo. I’m thinking it will be annihilated and that I’ll be at Iowa State in the spring, just fine and dandy. =D

So that’s about it. I’m taking a biology test tomorrow before I start chemo and my brain goes all fuzzy (gasp! first college test! eep!) and the rest of the week will probably be spent in a state of tiredness with a little homework and possibly a football game in there somewhere too.

Oh, if anyone is interested in learning more about what gets tested when you get blood drawn, here’s a very helpful website: Cellmate Wellness Systems. I thought it was kind-of interesting, maybe you will too.

Much love,
Cheryl